How lucky to have this kind of weather, 60+ degree day in November. I used it to get out, and after picking up a few things at the local grocery, and take some pictures at the river that runs behind my home.

The local gendarme must have thought I was a teenager, sitting in my car in the park, as he followed me from downtown to the park and didn't leave until he saw me exit my vehicle. j

It was relaxing to be out of the apt., away from the usual sounds and sights, and just watch the birds swooping down under the bridge and then back again to the trees.

It was a typical autumn sight, the reds and browns of the leaves, however since we've had such a warm fall the grass is still green! A very rainy month just before the cool down gave us the green grass and it's an odd sight, out of place with the other colors this time of year.

My medication for the thryoid problem is finally working, thank God! About 5 # have melted off and I have little hunger, food still tastes good, and is appealing, I just don't care to eat.

The residents here either love my new haircut and perm or they don't recognize me! Quite a few were shocked to find out it was me behind the curls! Straight hair and me just don't look good, however that was how they knew me, straight long hair.
It's so nice, not having that long hair blowing up my nostrils, LOL, and slashing my eyeballs everytime the window is open in the car!

Tuesday evening I'm going to join in the fun with the others here and play Bingo since the Lions' club is going to be calling. Been here now since Feb. and haven't managed to attend one of those yet. The regular Bingo nights are much quieter and the payout is less, yet those are the ones I go to, the few times I have.

That silly cat of mine is such an affection hawg! LOL, I love it! She loves to get up on my lap, tuck her head under my chin, ( make that plural) stretch out her left front leg across my shoulder and nuzzle me and then rub noses!
I really would love to get one of those puppies that's been advertised in the local paper, they're only $100.00, a small breed, and yet know I don't have it in me to housebreak a puppy, and all the work involved with a puppy.

I guess it's ok, this cat is enough for me, she's adopted me already and it would be cruel to switch now.....

I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.

I'm not pleased that my son is supposed to be connecting with his dad this week, I imagine that's why my son couldn't make it up here to visit today. I want him to have his own life, I'm just concerned that his father with try to somehow get his new car away from him. His father is such a user and abuser, he knows how to manipulate people, has hurt us all so much and so many times...yet our son loves him......as do most children no matter what their age....

All I can hope and pray for is that my son will make the most of the visit and not let his dad railroad him into anything that will change our son's living arrangement or his newly aquired car....it'd be so like his dad to convince him to move away, take control of his funding, and get his car. He did it before.

Say a prayer if you would, he needs that.
And so another day is close to ending....have I made the most of it? What else could I have done?

A bit of color to brighten this dreary, grey clouded sky.
Things are going well, the car needs repair, the cat got sick on the carpet, and the pharmacy forgot to bring my heart meds to me yesterday.
However it's still a glorious day, right?! Right :)

I"ve been busy cleaning, moving furniture, ( even tho that is forbiddened) and making it more user friendly. I've also cleaned out my closet, gave away a lot of clothes, ( some almost new) and am getting ready to hunker down, once again, for winter.
This winter won't see me moving though. So that's a good thing, and should help with the healing process.

I've discovered "Utube" and have put videos up there, for sure they are the work of a novice! Just like many others there! I hope to be able to put music to some I have of my cat playing, the right piece of music set to a cat entrenched in a play moment is more fun to watch.

Is it spring yet? Oh well, that's like "are we there yet?" remember those??
I think that last one is universal and timeless.

Oh Goldie, everywhere I look I see pictures and advertisements with Olde English Bullies.....who woulda thunk it? me enamoured of an English Bulldog..

Well, what else is news? nothing really. Oh, one friend is making me a blue/lavender/magenta afghan. It's almost done, actually it probably is now. Have to go check on it. Some of the ladies in the prayer group were helping my friend put it together and they're so sweet. I talked to the one that was upset cause my son and I were playing pool, that's what the pool table is there for. She knew that when she moved in, so she's going to have to acknowledge that or else be miserable. She's also the one that started the gossip about me. She didn't know that J. was my son. She thought I had a boyfriend and started a rumor....I confronted her on that too.
Nuf said.

I've had visions of vegetables dancing in my head all fall. I'm so looking forward to the next growing season! I think this spring I'll add lettuce to the mix, it's gotten sooooooooooo expensive here. Of course it's atumn so I suppose between that and the ecoli outbreaks, prices go up.
I'm going to plant radishes, green beans, carrots, and tomatoes again, however am going to skip the beets. They didn't turn out so great. Maybe they didn't have long enough in the ground, or else the drought ruined them.

I think onions would be good too. I hope I can get a slightly larger plot of land this coming spring. Those two ladies that shared one let them vegies rot on the ground since it was so hot. They didn't want to out in the heat and water them....time will tell.

Well I need to get back to my re-arranging. I love it when it starts to come together! BTW, I have white scroll work sconces on the bedroom wall with white candles, lace curtains with swags and a scalloped type vance, with a white fur rug. Am thinking of changing out the bedspread. It has a creamy beige background that is too dark, even with the flowers on it. Not sure what would look best with the other things. I'll figure it out I guess.

All flotsam and Jetsom today....and that's ok too.

It's been different today, I tried on purpose to change the way I do things, and put off somethings, and accomplished what I usually let slide.

It's kind of nice to see some of the paintings and pictures up on the walls now, and I put away some clutter so as not to distact from the beauty of the pictures.
I cleaned up the bathroom a few days earlier than usual, and decided to mix my whole milk with powdred milk to make it stretch further. I also have got the makings for a lovely garden salad ready to be tossed, and will take the time to do that along with making some hotdish I haven't made for ages.

The job that is daunting is the filing cabinet, I have new folders, new files, and it all needs to be put together and organized. I don't enjoy that very much, however love having organization in my record keeping, soooooooo guess tomorrow is the day for that, along with two small loads of laundry and maybe some baking.

I've gotten myself ( yesterday) a new microwave. It's a "high-end" one, and is so neat! No more having only half of the popcorn popped, no more needing the water hot before I put it in the microwave! The door closes quietly and it has quiet beeping when the food is done, versus the loud whine the old one had. The reason it's higher priced is that it's a microwave with grilling and browning capabilities. That'll be nice for cooking food on these hot days, without using my oven!

Having two fans now is really helping with keeping the apt. cool. The air-conditioner is about 15-30 years old, so just one fan couldn't circulate the air enough to get the bedroom cool too. Now I can get to sleep at night, before it was so hot that I felt like a sponge that was leaking it's water!

I have yet to read enough of the booklet about my new camera, so haven't been able to get pix posted that I've taken with the digital beast. I really love the clarity of the pictures, even though one can really see how old I"ve gotten these last few years!
I took a few last night, of the sunset. Have some of Chanel, and a couple of me. Guess that's it for now.

It's been taxing these past 6-7 months. More so than I anticipated. Next week the foot doctor is making a special brace for my left foot. Since I lose my balance so often I'm going to ask him for a cane too. I've come soooo close to falling again, numerous close calls. Two falls in two weeks is a lot!

The neighbor lady continues to bring me up fresh vegies from my garden, and they sure taste better than store bought!
HOpefully next week i can get back out there again and partake of the work involved, I sure miss that.

Friday is going to be my special day. There's oldies but goodies on Turner Classic Movie channel, Vincent Price movies from the late 50's to the mid 60's. It's going to be a day of no housework, no errands, just enjoyment. I'm unplugging the phone, and am gonna do as I darn well please all day!

Well I've rambled on long enough, time to start supper, watch the local evening news, and maybe accomplish one more chore today.
Later :)

Why is Blogger so difficult for me to figure out???
I try to sign in and it doesn't recognize my password, so I try to change it, follow the directions in the email from them, and it only gets worse!

Life here has been interesting if nothing else. Some guys were stealing vegetables out of our apt. complex garden. The seniors that planted the seeds, hoed the weeds, and watered the produce are now coping with two young men helping themselves to the goodies as they ripen!
what a couple of losers! Why don't these two guys go make their own garden?

My cat has really and truly adopted me now. It would be horrid to give her up after 3 months and having her finally settle in, and getting used to me and my life style. I can now afford to have the breed of dog I want and of course it'd be wrong to let my little kitty go.....oh well. I'm really happy she likes me and is content here.

The lump sum settlement finally came in, plus I"ll have a check for rent rebate this month, and then there's the money my son owes me for the check I wrote so he could pay for his car repairs........
Can't say I wish I was rich. I sure feel like it. I just don't know what to do with it now!
Never thought THAT would be a problem for me!
Guess I better watch out or people will come out of the woodwork to get some of it!

One of my neighbors came up to see this morning, she caught me off guard as I was sleeping in, and she gave me a delightful little gingerbread man welcome sign for my door. She knew I was looking for something and so she brought that to me. This is the little tiny lady that looks just like my greatgrama Mary. It's unreal there's such a strong resembalance!

I guess their was a circus in a neighboring town tonight, that's the kind of thing I could go to if I decide to buy a car. Owning a car in this day and age almost seems like a really bad idea for me. Least finacially. It's a never ending drain of money.....
Then again it's difficult to not be able to walk out the door and just go somewhere when I want to....
What a decision to make...........

Least I'm not out in a store somewhere blowing all this money all at once like I would have years ago...

I have a young 2nd cousin somewhere in California, wish I could reach him to talk to him. I dont' know as that he'd want to talk with me, guess I have to start reaching out and trying to see if I can make some family connections.....it worked a few years ago when I first started doing genealogy, maybe once more...
Well it's 2 o clock in the morning and I"m really tired.....guess it's time to crash and hope I can "sleep fast". I have a lot of things to do and places to go to today...

oh, by the way I tried to respond to "the park ranger" that left a comment here however my own blog tells me I'm not on the team! See what I mean! Headaches!

I haven't seen my grandchildren for 4 years now.... the oldest boy is 13, the only girl is 8 and the baby, whom I've never seen, is 4. I could repair the relationship, only I"d be opening myself to more stress and mistreatment again.

Life here is slow, very hot at 90 plus degrees for the last 3 weeks in a row....

I've been able to get myself a few nice things with the extra cash I've come into, nothing fancy, or expensive. I did get just about the cheapest radio there was, at Wal=Mart. It provides great sound at a low price, plays my CD's, and cassettes and doesn't have that terrible hum that my old player had.

Hopefully we'll get some of that rain is coming this way from the west, the ground is parched brown, and crunches instead of being lush green.
The corn crops are ruined and beans aren't growing big.

Only because we water our vegetable garden does our little apt. complex have fresh healthy produce. The stores are charging outrageous amounts for stuff that isn't tasty.

It seems that at every turn I receive sad news in the mail or online. I guess that's life, and one has to keep smiling and just keep on truckin....ya.

Last night I was lost in a dream world, one I'd choose over life in a heartbeat. It was that sweet. I was dreaming that a friend and me went to a movie, and of course my kid sister wanted to tag along. She was young again, so I must have been young too! The gentleman was tall, dark, and handsome. I felt so shy, yet risked everything by reaching for his hand to hold. He didn't refuse, and the dream was so innocent and tender from there onwards......at one point I walked out on a pier, swishing my toes in the water, and then delibertely fell into the lake and came up laughing.
We didn't have enough change for the movie so I opened a tool chest and dug around until I found coins for us, and then there was more obstacles to our seeing the movie, however we got a few kisses in and some hugs. I was so happy in the dream.............

And so it goes. Reality is much sharper, less warm, much less tender. People I love and care about have their own issues, their own lives to live, and have tossed me aside like so much used tissue. Oh well, I have things going on too, I really do wish them well, I just can't promise that I'll still be here for them when they remember that I exist.

It was heartbreaking to read of Valentine's suicide, what a month to discover it, the month of the prom we attended back in 1962...It leaves me with such an ache in my heart, such a big hole there now...unfinished business and pain.

Then a couple of weeks ago reading of my cousin's approaching death from cancer, she could be gone by now. Actually she's the daughter of my cousin T. and I'd been corresponding with her daughter and felt so sad that I didn't live closer so I could be a support person for her. She's only 14.

As soon as my life settles down a bit more, probably by spring, I'll be ready for a major life change. Again. I've heard that one can't run away from problems, for wherever ya go, there you are....well I've worked on my problems, and now am ready to leave this old life behind.
It's great to see that my adult son has made such immense progess, he's been doing things that tell all of us that he's alright. He's so comfortable where he's living, that the other day he went out into the community room in his cut-off sweat pants and tee-shirt and delivered two boxes of jigsaw puzzles to the manager. Wow! Before he'd never have answered the door in those shorts, much less worn them around his apt. complex.

One thing I've discovered by being alone again is that it's not much fun to cook for one's self.....it's too easy to just eat some cheese, drink some milk, have some toast....
Not self pity, just don't enjoy cooking for the self. More fun to cool for others.

Mostly miss my daughter and grandchildren.....and the days long gone by........ya.

Not really a red letter day here, just felt like brightening up the gray day.
It's the quietest it's been all week, guess Saturdays are like that around here.
I seem to be learning the "routine" and rythmmn of the world here. It pretty much follows the 'real world' what with most people getting up early, taking care of business, socializing, chores, and by golly by 10:00 P.M. it's like a graveyard, no sounds at all.

The vegetable garden is going great guns! Got green beans popping up, almost 6 inches high, the carrots have made an appearance, as have the beets! Found out that I have 3!! tomato plants planted, don't know who put in the other two, and the radishes continue to flourish.

My own little apt. is looking better day by day, I just need to get something to put into all the pots of potting soil I have. Went down to my son's a few days ago and re-potted his huge Spider plant for him, he hates messing with that. I don't mind. I find it rather enjoyable and relaxing.

I've sort of changed Chanel's name to "Charmin", a combination of Chanel and charming. She is too, charming that is. Only been here a month and I can pick her up, she comes when called, ( if I whistle) and she's finally given up on telling me when it's bedtime. Now she just conks out on my chair if I'm on the computer :)

I've been to the big Flea Market here in town only once, gotta find someone to ride with! They have great deals, and it's unreal how great the "people watching" is! Such an assortment of characters! One of the sellers looked just like a Twins baseball player and this dude was selling gloves and baseballs too....naw, couldn't have been him..

This coming week is chock full of medical appts. again, this is soooooooooooooooooo old. After that though the month of June looks awesome :) Glad they're getting their "so important info" the last week of this month!

Well it's about time for a nap, not anything really special happening here except for the blessing of peace. Then again, that is EVERYthing! I wish that for everyone, everywhere.

It's been a cold, windy and frustrating day.

I'm not sure what's going on with my body, that left ankle has been swollen and sore for weeks, staying in bed keeps the swelling down to a minimum, and keeps the pain tolerable.
It's all I can do to wash the dishes daily, clean up after Chanel, and take out the trash.
There's also the mystery of the swollen throat glands, sore left ear, and general malaise.

My youngest child got all pissed off at me today, we were online playing a word game like Scrabble and I had to make a pit stop. He got a freaky on me, and wouldn't talk to me when I came back, had signed out of Yahoo, after leaving a bunch of symbols to show his anger at my leaving for a few minutes.
Why do people do that? What is that all about? Do they think they're the ONLY ones in the world? What if I'd had a heart attack? Or been attacked by a mountain lion?
What IF??
His attitude reminds me of other relatives I have, that have that same attitude.
God.

So my brownies and bread didn't get baked today, it's all I can do to make a meal and sit up. I feel like crap.

Guess it's better than the alternative~!

Well it's finally starting to pour buckets of rain! Amen to that! Hope it's pouring rain up in the Boundary Waters too where the fires have been raging for the last two weeks.

Now I won't have to go out tomorrow and fight to get that hose dragged over to the flower bed. Thank God for miracles :)

Did I mention I signed up on this free dating website? LOL, the first guy to try to connect to me was only 26 !! years old!! What the hell??? That's younger than my son!!!!! NO WAY! NO thanks, and thanks anyway, just go away and he kept trying, 3 or 4 times! If I could only get that response from guys my age! Guess they're looking at younger ones!!

I bought a new set of double curtain rods for my bedroom and hung up the lace panels first then over that is the satin knit rose colored panels. Looks nice and all, want to hang one more layer of lace, so I bought a tension rod for the lace panels and will put the lace swags on the double, underneath the rose panels. Makes perfect sense to me.

I haven't decided what to do with the living room window tho. It's huge, 92 inches wide, and only about 53 or 60 inches long. Anything that has a reflective type foam backing, or solar panels would be good. My apt. faces north, however want to try to keep as much heat out as possible come the hot weather.
Since I have lots of green plants, and want to keep it looking like a garden or woodsy retreat, I think green drapes would work ok.

I've been watching that Wavelit.com site now for sometime, love to watch the animals come to the watering hole. I've seen an elephant walking around in the pouring rain, seen giraffes eating the leaves off the tops of trees, early in the morning, and watched warthogs scratching their backs in the mud. It's a delightful website.

Well the rain has stopped already, short rainfall. Guess I'll go take a catnap and see if some sleep helps with the pain.

later...

Trying to just get on Blogger is almost more work than it's worth, yet am ready for a new home.

It's been a difficult day, made a sad discovery online. The last few days have been thinking about an old friend, had mentioned his life story to a lady and today it kept niggling at me, so I googled his name, was re-reading his story and discovered that he'd taken his own life.

He jumped out of his 8th floor apt. building in December of this year. I don't know if what he did 17 years ago was more than he could live with, or if his illness was what pushed him into it, just don't know...
I have so many unaswered questions, it leaves a deep hole in my heart. He wasn't a bad person when we were teenagers. I don't know when he got sick, however that didn't make him who he was or what he did...

So far, I haven't truly ajusted to my new apt. I've made friends, for sure lots of those, and know where things are, how to get around, what's available for services, and can cope, just haven't found that feeling of "being home" that I thought I would have by now.

My new roommate, Chanel the 5th, has adopted me and cries to be in my lap if I'm busy doing something around the house. She has also taken over my bed, my easy chair, and today for the first time jumped up on top of my desk while I was typing. Almost knocked my coffee over, she was beside herself as yesterday I spent the whole day taking care of business and had not a spare moment to hold her. She let me kow that she had to have my attention!

She's supposed to be losing weight and I think she's gained a couple of pounds since moving in. The entire first week she hid on top of the refrigerator, only coming down to use the litter box and eat while I slept. The second week she spent checking out the apt. and making discoveries of her own. The third week she decided I have a comfortable lap made for cats and claimed it as her own.
Her former owner said that Chanel never ever jumps up if you're eating. Wrong! She did, just the other day and I promptly let her know that it was "a bad time" to jump up. OK, all I did was shoo her down...

Goldie the Bulldog, so much to say about her. I didn't know that it's normal for them to snore. Yep, and with all the wrinkles they have it's expected. Also those wrinkles need deep cleaning, every single day. No problem. They also crave affection, which is why I found her to be so special, since I love to give affection and time to dogs. Some of the people here were afraid of her, because her teeth stick out, which is how they're made. She is submissive to humans and if spoken to or called, she lays down and rolls over, and at the same time her whole body is wiggling with happiness. She won over quite a few hearts.
I had Goldie here with me only a short week, one morning while taking her to the elevator she changed from walking on one side to the other and I tripped over the leash, almost falling.
Several times outside when I was trying to clean up after her, she'd get to wiggling with joy and happiness and I"d almost fall down when she'd sit down abruptly and lean into my legs, add to that the fact that she's a Bulldog, her gait is rolling, her chest wide and massive and when she'd walk, I'd have a hard time keeping up.
I tried my dangest to train her in just the week she was here, however I knew that as smart and co-operative as she was, that it would be dangerous to both me and her if I fell. She could have gotten lose and get hit by a car. I do have to admit I think she'd have stayed by my side as she was that kind of dog, however I felt bombarded in more ways than these...

My son came up to see me on my birthday, the day I got her, and though he had planned on staying, when he saw her he decided he wasn't going to stay overnight as planned. He didn't like her, because she had an odor to her. Bulldogs do have that. It's part of their breed makeup. It's got to do with their digestion. Discovered that afterwards......
The manager here gave me a hard time about Goldie, saying how every single dog that's ever been here has peed on the carpet in the halls. She said that some residents were afraid of her, and also that I had "disrespected" her and her wishes by getting a dog that was toooo big to pick up and carry in the elevator, and one that couldn't walk down the stairs.
Between her constantly harranging me for a week, my son refusing to come up as long as I had her, and my trying to not fall down while walking her, my feet swelling from the walks with her, I gave up and asked the former owners to come and take her back. That was our agreement, if for any reason it didn't pan out for me, I was to call them to come and take her back. She is a $1200.00 purebred Bulldog, and they don't come any sweeter.

I find myself crying because I miss her, and the cat just isn't the same.

So that's it in a nutshell.

OH, lest I forget, I signed up on one of those dating thingys. Been 3 days now and not one guy has IM'd me nor left me a message. I'm not ugly, don't have hoof and mouth disease, and can speak intelligently, so what's up with that??

Oh well.

And with the price of gas, do I really want to buy a car if I get a lump sum from SS?? Wouldn't it make more sense to either A: save some, spend some, and give some? or B: Take a trip or C: Buy an expensive dog and be happy...

My radishes are coming up already, and yesterday I planted beets too. Now there's beets, tomatoes, carrots, radishes, and green beans. Hope it turns out great! Maybe before they come up I can learn how to can, now THAT would be an accomplishment!

Time, it seems to stand still as I sit and gaze out the living room window.
Clouds meander by and depending on the day can be like mashed potatoes, feathers, stairsteps, cotton balls, or even a dragon...

There's much to do in my new apt....today the handyman brought me up a rocker/recliner that had belonged to the lady that just passed away two weeks ago, that and her new entertainment center. The family didn't want it, and told management to give to someone in need....so management came up to see me yesterday and noticed that I needed a chair, ( I have the one green recliner and it's on loan from my son until I can get my own...)
and that my old tv cart was wobbly and not safe....
So now my living room looks nicer and I've been putting things away in my bedroom.
That room was the last to get fixed up and stuff put away, and maybe I needed to have made it my sanctuary right away. I sure notice how much better I feel for having made it look lovely.

Tomrorrow I have company coming for lunch! Two of the three cancelled last week....and another that couldn't make lunch last week...Oy! and now I don't have the ingredients for the lasagna! So they shall get spagetti, and there'll be homemade 15 bean soup if they just want a light lunch.

JGee it looks so nice here I don't want to go to bed! I've got a white Carnation with ferns on the table in the dining area and green candles to go with it.
After 40 years my home looks the way I want it to...when I look back ( I don't do this too often anymore..) I see the little tarpapered shack we lived in, with the outhouse just a few feet away, an old hand pump for the well.........it was soooooooo bad when we moved in there in July of 66......it'd horrify someone to read the details....

So much has changed over time.......today was another milestone, and there have been many, today I could see beyond the lines, the gray hair, the crepey eyelids and still see the smiling face and eyes of my father's "number 2" daughter...it was as if it all came together...

Two nights ago I watched a documentary on Public Television, didn't see all of it. I saw a doctor in Iraq, talking to prisoners of war, recording their ailments, their ages, one was a 9 year old boy....the doctor's family were talking about having been at church when gunfire errupted outside, shooting between the American soldiers and some others. The daughters were afraid to continue going to church.....it's almost possible to feel detached from this whole awful war until you see a family that is coping with it, hearing them talk about their friends and famiy dying, then it hits home...

Bush is so wrong it isn't funny,










fleaface

the blues seem to overtaken me lately, perhaps because of the work involved in the moving process, moving both my son and myself....
Add to that the sinus infection, and now the sarcoid that's in my liver seems to haver taken over my skin now.........saw a dermatologist about a month ago. It sounds rather selfish and selfpitying I suppose, but I'd like to just crawl into a hole somewhere, like the sick animal I am and just die.

I tried last night to give myself a mental boost by ordering some Avon, a little makeup and some perfume. That's something I haven't done for, well decades I guess. Ahhhhhh, make that about 7 or 8 years.
There's a lady here that's lost 80 #'s and gave me her clothes that are my size. Great! Lots of pretty clothes, including a "little black dress" with a jacket, as long as the dress. There's a pretty rose colored sweater with matching scarf, a coral button down sweatshirt, and a couple of black blouses, one is silk.
Now I just need some black slacks, a skirt, and maybe if I'm lucky I'll find some foxy shoes....

I heard from my kid sister, she wanted to make sure I"d gotten moved and settled ok. She's such a peach :) I could take the greyhound bus to where she lives, or a train, however there'd be no place for me to stay or sleep....my joints and bones can't handle the hard ground anymore, never used to have a problem with that....
I know she'd love to visit, I would too. In person is easier to talk and laugh, share memories, and discuss issues.
I don't want th coming spring and summer lost to doing nothing in regards to seeing her ....it's been since about 1993 since we last saw each other. I had gone to her place in northern Wi. and took my youngest with me, it was a good visit. Now it's been what, about 14 years...God....
I've always been the one to go and visit her. She never used to come and visit me, not since 1972...

Wow when I start thinking back on "what was" it scares me...good thing I'm living in the present moment!
Hope today finds things going a little better....I sure need a good friend here, someone to talk to and to listen to....why is it that all the good ones are so far away???
For the recork, I"m "considering" getting a cat versus a dog, because of my health and also have to be fair and smart about a pet choice....as much as I love dogs, maybe couldn't do justice to caring for one...cats are easier....not as affectionate or devoted though....maybe I'll luck out and find an affectionate one :)



fleaface

Supper is on the stove cooking, and I'm all worn out.
Am settled into my new digs for the most part, still have boxes here and there tho.
My son installed the internet stuff for me today, what a headache the modem turned out to be. Thank God he's so smart and gifted that way!

I've met lots of interesting new people, so friendly here! They go out of their way to introduce themselves, have given me a welcoming gift of cheerful flowers in a cup along with a gift certificate, and have gone the extra mile......

Then night before last I couldn't sleep and could feel a "soul" in my bedroom, knew it was death. I also figured that those kind of thoughts probably went along with the cold and sinus infection I've battleing so didn't tell anyone. Yesterday found out that one of my neighbors died night before last, at the same time I couldn't sleep and felt a "presence" in my room.
And so it goes, Monday is her funeral. So soon to lose a new friend...I guess that's what life is, a series of deaths....she was so nice to me, and she was so sad because she'd been told she had to move into an assisted living facility.
My son experienced the same sort of loss right after he moved into his new place, the caretaker passed away just two days after he'd finished getting settled...I wish now I'd gone and spent a day with him after that happened, he must have felt as lost as I do....I say that only cause I know he liked her.

Life will go on here, and there, and eveywhere, yet to me it feels as if a hole was left in the fabric of life, hopefully there'll be patches sewed on.....I know in just the short time I"ve been offline I've missed people that I "see" online, and am looking forward to hearing from them and also am hopeful that I'll still enjoy the internet yet live my life more in the now moment.fleaface

Day after tomorrow is red letter day! Moving day, ready or not, there I"ll go!!

The only things left not packed are two outfits, two pairs of jammies, and personal care products. It's hard to live like this, yet not as hard as Thursday is going to be!
After moving on Thursday I think I'll just crash with some cocoa, after a hot shower, and have a sandwich and call it good.
Friday is time enough to start unpacking.

A fresh new start, a new town, new people, and wonderful apt. They put in a brand new sink and it's very lovely, especially with an old fashioned light above it.

I don't know yet to this very moment if I"m going to keep internet. It's been a blast the last 6 years, however now I"m no longer fascinated with it. I think the money would be better spent in savings, or even as a special savings for a trip someday. I'll see, am pretty sure though that this is the end of the road for me with internet.







fleaface

Well moving day is only 15 hours away and there's too much still undone. The last two days I've done battle with him to get stuff put in boxes.
What a losing battle it was. Now it's countdown time.
I'm sure glad I don't have so much "stuff"! I could get rid of almost all of my possesions and be happy as long as I had the photos of my family. If I lost my sight and couldn't see them I'd be happy with one soft blanket.
When I think about it, it's sad that it takes so much for him to be happy and feel safe, like his world is ok. I truly realize in those moments how much his dad hurt him.
He's coping with a lot of "baggage" from childhood plus his ADD. He's quite lovable. Like a book I got him when he was about 10, called "I Am Lovable" I forget the rest of the title of that book. It's about a child whose self image is torn off piece by piece each day, and how it gets restored. Great book for kids.
Well think I'll go get a cold drink and put my feet up. Tomorrow is a big day.






fleaface

It's so super cold here! Good Grief!
I could sure stand to live in a warmer climate

I've been watching the African live cam today and it's been real busy, the lions were at the watering hole quite late for them. I was suprised how many female lions there were in the pride. I didn't see the male lion at all today.
Nor did I catch a glimpse of the Baboons, however watched the zebras and Impalas there, caught sight of a single Wildebeast too.
Loved it the other day when I saw three giraffes. I don't think I've seen that many at one time.

My son and I heard about something called "Ruby's Pantry" yesterday afternoon. It seems this church group gives away food once a month. If one can afford a $12.00 donation that's all fine and good and the same if you can't. I wasn't able to cough up that this month, however next will give twice that.
My son, as he's moving out in just 3 days, used it and he was able to give a donation. It's about $40.00 dollars worth of foood too. Awesome stuff.
The important thing here, when I walked in I was half frozen, short of breath, having chest pain from the cold, and a tall lanky youth wrapped an arm around my shoulder, escorted me to his supervisors and they had me sit down, after giving me a huge hug first! Their first concern was that I was having chest pain, the second thing was I was so cold. Boy did they ever take good care of me.
I don't mind saying it brought me to tears, tears of joy at how much they cared. The lady that hugged me didn't let go right away like most people would when they hug you, if felt like I had been hugged by an angel. Such an unusal thing.

So now I'll make banana bread with all the overripe bananas and use the fresh, gorgeous strawberries on my oatmeal :)
The freezer is full of chicken, baked, breaded, fingers of chicken, pita bread, English muffins, ye gads!
Prayers for this church group, they have been growing and keep getting more to give away. Their mission was to end hunger here in MN and Wi. and I think they're suceeding.

The people that are going to help my son move will eat good too. I'm making a lasagna for them, and think I'll throw some kind of meat in the oven to make sandwiches with too. That way if they don't want lasagna they can have a hot sandwich.
They also are a fine organization. We've been very fortunate to have them helping us at step of the way with this project of getting our own places.

I'm especially proud of my son, and now he's excited and seems happy even to be getting a nice place to live. He's been offered a new set of towels, which I believe he turned down. His new apt. has a new stove and a new refrigerator, and the carpet is either new or just shampooed.

There isn't much of anything on tv tonight, unless you count sports....I don't really care to watch that, so will probably plop a movie in the VCR.
LOL, most of my movies are packed, however there's no flaps on the boxes ther in, so I can dig right in!

Tonight's supper is going to be leftovers! The leftover rice is going to be fried with onion, with some scrambled eggs going into it, along with fresh tomato, and maybe some leftover ham. Also the makings for a salad, and that will probably do it for me.
I don't know if the kid wants the same fare or not. He might be on his own tonight if he down't eat what I fix!

It's about half past 4 bells here and so cold around the perimiter of the apt. Last winter we had put plastic up to keep out the cold northerly winds, not this year, that's a post all by itself though.....not a happy one.

Spring isn't far away I guess, we've sailed through Nov and December and almost half of Jan was not too bad. I hope the snow holds off until after the 1st of Feb!







fleaface

OH oh....maybe a glitch in the works. Not for my son, for me.
For I just had a phone call and it seems a flag was raised, a red one.
Before my son came home I had more income, I lost the income as the county figured his income into mine. In real life it doesn't work like that, however they think it does.

So long story short I got behind in my payments, couldn't keep up, and now it's a "problem" for my potential landlord, HUD.
OH well.

There's no crying in baseball, right?



















fleaface

Moving Mania has overtaken our home! We have boxes halfway up to the ceiling, and my room barely has room for me to walk in and out.
However it's all good.

My son is happier, ajusting to the idea of living alone now and I'm estatic! Both of us have had our down moments, lonely and unsure moments. Yet life goes on and it's all for the best.

He has a great support system. Things are all lined up for him, a new apt, electric, and the phone is on hold ( hehehee) until he makes a decision about which company or if he's going to go with a cell phone.

I'm moving into a senior highrise, so much for such a spect of nothing...that's all we all you know, just a spect in this great big huge Universe. I got to the point this fall that I asked God to take it from my hands, there so much stuff that I just couldn't do anymore...

He did, he handled it.

Now. If only the world's problems could be solved so easily....why aren't they?

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I think I'll position the head of my bed so I can see the stars at night. Many is the night I gaze out the windows and watch them, thinking of friends far away, wondering how they are and missing them and wishing we could talk in person.

The same goes for my desk and computer, it's going to be right next to the living room window so I can gaze out on the world day or night. My window is on the end of the building, I like that.
The libray is right across the hall, and the exercise room is around the corner. I hope I get to be a lot healthier while there, which I hope will be the rest of my life.

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I got a very sad email yesterday, Tuesday morning. My cousin's daughter's cancer has returned. This time it's in her lung and her throat glands are now swollen. They don't know if the doctors can do anything this time round. So much sadness for a family already overwhelmed with grief.
This branch of my family has already lost 3 of it's children, one cousin to ALS, one to breast cancer and the other hasn't been mentioned.
To lose any child is so wrong, we're supposed to die before our children do. What to do, what to say to my cousin and his wife....

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I heard our "man in charge" is sending more
troops over there. Good Lord....what a mistake.

Nuf said there.

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Time is short, much to do. Pray for those you love, and hope for the best in the world, it's our best shot.