Have you had moments of feeling overwhelmed? Moments when you had so much to do, so much to accomplish that you just felt like crying, but even the tears wouldn't flow because there wasn't time for it?
That's where I"m at today. I'm feeling sad, overwhelmed, and a little sick to my stomach from all that's sitting and waiting to be finished.
I know from all the pain I'm coping with, that the most basic of chores won't get done today, much less an outing with a friend. It's taken me an hour just to go to the bathroom, washup, make a pot of coffee and start a load of wash.
I guess I could give thanks to the lady that gave me the washing machine! There was days I didn't money to go to the laundromat, and washed stuff by hand. I'm not talking about when I was 29 and pregnant, I"m talking about this past year, and I'm now 59...approaching the big "60" the 60th birthday is on the horizon...
I remember in 7th grade thinking I'd never live to see the year 2000, we talked about the year 2000 in Science class.
I also remember thinking and mostly worrying, as I approached 52, that I'd not live past the age of 52, that's how old mom was when she died. I was very surprised when I read that my older sister had the same fear or thoughts about that!
I don't know if it's getting older that makes me wonder if I'm loved and cared about or if it's just the clinical depression that does that...?? I have a friend with schizophrenia, and I know, from what she's told me, a little of what it's like to be in her shoes...just a little though...
I've read about a person with bi-polar, however don't truly know this person so I can't say I understand what it's like for him. I did know a person, a professiona, that was coping with manic-depression, and life was such a roller-coaster for her in terms of mood and feelings. My ex-husband's girl friend has manic depression and it's quite hard on their family. Of course he takes advantage of her down moods....
Well I"ve done housework all morning right up til noon and now have brownies in the over, a clean kitchen, 2 loads of wash done, and feel some what over the sadness that overwhelmed me, however am dealing with anger towards my son.
It's not easy having a special needs adult son living at home, I've tried for the last six years, since he came home, to be his advocate, a mentor, support him with his issues and try to get him back into his former status in the community. However it's not working and I can't do anymore and have told him I'm getting my own place and he has gone through the stages of grief over it.
He has a chance to get help from the people and organization that is helping me, and if he tosses that away, then he'll be still sitting here when I leave, subjecting himself to being evicted by the law. Maybe that's what he needs to have happen to him.
On a different note, I made chili a few days ago and it turned out soooooooo good I couldn't believe it. It's been good before, however never this thick, or tasty. Hope the brownies that I got in the oven are that good.
As I downsize, clean, pack and anguish over what to keep and what to donate, I feel a lightness in my step and mostly in my mood. Some days are just no fun with a person around who is resentful of my choosing to change my life and plans...
And so it goes...I don't love him any less, I just need, in this autumn of my life, a chance for me to live the remainder of my years just for me. I don't think I'm being selfish, just living my own life. At this age, I feel I"ve earned it.
fleaface
October 14, 2006
October 04, 2006
Happy Birthday Dad.
Today is the day my dad was born. A quiet, gentle man. Hard working, smart, willing to listen, on one or two occasions given to saying biting remarks which I later learned came out of his own hurt or his own feelings of being betrayed.
When I remember him I have images of him in my mind's eye, of him at work at his drill press, seeing him through an open door when he was helping the landlord make anchors for boats, seeing the molds being filled with hot molten metal, seeing him at the saw chopping up wood for the wood pile.
When I remember him I see him walking up that long steep driveway from the foundry, in the evenings, tired, sweaty, the look of exhaustion on his face. He'd sit outside with the landlord and the landlord's wife, pouring down bottles of grape crush, or orange crush, and trying to cool off, his tee-shirt sweat soaked, his bib overalls dirty from the work, yet he was able to smile at me.
I remember him watching westerns on tv, especially Gunsmoke and "Have Gun Will Travel". It seems to me that was about his only enjoyment in life, other than fishing in the summertime when we'd go up north to visit his mom, who lived in a little shack, or ice fishing in the winter.
He had 3 brothers, one of whom he spent time with just walking through the potato patch in our side yard. It makes me smile inside when I rmember how serious they looked, walking through that patch....I wonder now what all they discussed as they looked at those potatoes.
Dad would go hunting for deer with his brothers most every winter. Sometimes one of dad's sisters would go also. I don't know if the one sister, I've seen on photographs, actually hunted or just stayed behind and cooked for her brothers and there's only one or two people that might know and I don't have contact with them.
I remember hunting season as it happened at Thanksgiving and it seems like dad was gone every Thanksgiving.
All I have to go on for how dad felt about people is to use my "adult eyes" to "see" the things that took place years ago and try to interpet what he felt. I can "see" how he got on with his one brother, how they walked and talked together. Another brother would come to visit and dad's posture would change. It would seem to me to be defensive and "wanting to get away" from this brother. Another brother he had, well for me the jury is still out on that.
He also had sisters, 3 of them, one is still alive to the best of my knowledge.
Dad would talk about his relatives sometimes. One of them was an aunt and I couldn't ever remember having met her.
Anyway, it's dad's birthday and he's missed, oh so much. Some of the other memories I have that are wonderful I think I want to keep to myself and just hug close to me today, cause I can't hug him...
fleaface
Today is the day my dad was born. A quiet, gentle man. Hard working, smart, willing to listen, on one or two occasions given to saying biting remarks which I later learned came out of his own hurt or his own feelings of being betrayed.
When I remember him I have images of him in my mind's eye, of him at work at his drill press, seeing him through an open door when he was helping the landlord make anchors for boats, seeing the molds being filled with hot molten metal, seeing him at the saw chopping up wood for the wood pile.
When I remember him I see him walking up that long steep driveway from the foundry, in the evenings, tired, sweaty, the look of exhaustion on his face. He'd sit outside with the landlord and the landlord's wife, pouring down bottles of grape crush, or orange crush, and trying to cool off, his tee-shirt sweat soaked, his bib overalls dirty from the work, yet he was able to smile at me.
I remember him watching westerns on tv, especially Gunsmoke and "Have Gun Will Travel". It seems to me that was about his only enjoyment in life, other than fishing in the summertime when we'd go up north to visit his mom, who lived in a little shack, or ice fishing in the winter.
He had 3 brothers, one of whom he spent time with just walking through the potato patch in our side yard. It makes me smile inside when I rmember how serious they looked, walking through that patch....I wonder now what all they discussed as they looked at those potatoes.
Dad would go hunting for deer with his brothers most every winter. Sometimes one of dad's sisters would go also. I don't know if the one sister, I've seen on photographs, actually hunted or just stayed behind and cooked for her brothers and there's only one or two people that might know and I don't have contact with them.
I remember hunting season as it happened at Thanksgiving and it seems like dad was gone every Thanksgiving.
All I have to go on for how dad felt about people is to use my "adult eyes" to "see" the things that took place years ago and try to interpet what he felt. I can "see" how he got on with his one brother, how they walked and talked together. Another brother would come to visit and dad's posture would change. It would seem to me to be defensive and "wanting to get away" from this brother. Another brother he had, well for me the jury is still out on that.
He also had sisters, 3 of them, one is still alive to the best of my knowledge.
Dad would talk about his relatives sometimes. One of them was an aunt and I couldn't ever remember having met her.
Anyway, it's dad's birthday and he's missed, oh so much. Some of the other memories I have that are wonderful I think I want to keep to myself and just hug close to me today, cause I can't hug him...
fleaface
September 28, 2006
A beautiful day here, autumn colors are hugging us now, soon they'll blow away like so much dust.
Today, the first morning of no pain. Unreal. Waking up and moving, twist this way, that way, stretch, yep no pain. I smiled to myself and swung my legs up out of bed, and decided on changing my habits.
Why not?
Went through some pictures I want copies of, mostly ones I want enlarged for framing. I have a box of frames I"ve bought over time and have projects in mind for them.
I met with my new worker yesterday and am delighted with her. We both got goosebumps when I showed her a picture of my grama's sister, Birdy. She looked so odd when I mentioned Birdy's name. She told me I probably wouldn't believe it and she said she had to prove it to me, so she showed me her phone with the nickname of her daughter and it's "Birdy". We both had goosebumps and just stared at each other. She just shook her head and wondered outloud about the liklihood of that happening since it's a name from the 1800's.
She's such a delight, and we have all kinds of things planned to do. Things that needed doing, things I"ve needed help with will finally happen! Oh happy day.
"My Life" I can't wait to begin! I've almost postal let me tell ya...
Good thing I'm able now to start walking since I'm out of pain...I need that as a release for anger..........
fleaface
Today, the first morning of no pain. Unreal. Waking up and moving, twist this way, that way, stretch, yep no pain. I smiled to myself and swung my legs up out of bed, and decided on changing my habits.
Why not?
Went through some pictures I want copies of, mostly ones I want enlarged for framing. I have a box of frames I"ve bought over time and have projects in mind for them.
I met with my new worker yesterday and am delighted with her. We both got goosebumps when I showed her a picture of my grama's sister, Birdy. She looked so odd when I mentioned Birdy's name. She told me I probably wouldn't believe it and she said she had to prove it to me, so she showed me her phone with the nickname of her daughter and it's "Birdy". We both had goosebumps and just stared at each other. She just shook her head and wondered outloud about the liklihood of that happening since it's a name from the 1800's.
She's such a delight, and we have all kinds of things planned to do. Things that needed doing, things I"ve needed help with will finally happen! Oh happy day.
"My Life" I can't wait to begin! I've almost postal let me tell ya...
Good thing I'm able now to start walking since I'm out of pain...I need that as a release for anger..........
fleaface
September 27, 2006
Another day in the month that has many memories.....and a day when I had to be up with the chickens, or is that the rooster?
Makes no matter. I got up, took care of my morning rituals, made some old-fashioned oatmeal, and sat down to a cup of tea with a smattering of French-Vanilla non-dairy creamer and some sugar. It tastes rather like a caramel candy, it's peppermint tea btw.
My driver picked me up on time, and we had a pleasant drive to CDI for my appt. This appt. went really well. It only took the normal 20 minutes instead of the hour it did on the left side of my spine.
The right side of my spine is normal, in that the pelvis and vertebrae are where they're supposed to be, and without an extra bone.
The left side is different! The bone spurs made it difficult for the radiologist to get the needle in place, plus one level is transtional, part of an extra bone.
So now all I have left is for the surgeon to give the go ahead for radiofrequency rhizotomies on the right side.
Having the rhizotimies done on the left side has given me my life back. The simplest chore was so painful I couldn't finish it.
The weather here today has been a mixture of everything, except heat.
I called Lipton to find out how old the pkg. of Broccoli Mashed Potatoes & Cheddar Cheese is, and it expired 3 years ago so I won't be eating that tonight with my fish! Maybe boiled potatoes and some vegetable on the side.
My bedroom looks like a tornado whirled through it, that's what happens when I have an appt. in the morning. Clothes tossed on the bed after I change my mind, anti-perspirant on the bed, various grooming things.....still a teenager at times.
It's not important, no one sees it but me, and that's ok.
I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures that are on the roll of film I just finished up. I don't remember what I took pictures of other than the Mallard hens that are fast becoming pets now, and the birds at the feeder. Guess I got a couple of the evening sky the other night.
I have many things I"m going to be involved this fall. After having many appts. and things to go to this week, I've learned quickly I won't be able to go all gung ho right away. I need time to build up my body now that I'm not in pain constantly.
One thing at a time :)
fleaface
Makes no matter. I got up, took care of my morning rituals, made some old-fashioned oatmeal, and sat down to a cup of tea with a smattering of French-Vanilla non-dairy creamer and some sugar. It tastes rather like a caramel candy, it's peppermint tea btw.
My driver picked me up on time, and we had a pleasant drive to CDI for my appt. This appt. went really well. It only took the normal 20 minutes instead of the hour it did on the left side of my spine.
The right side of my spine is normal, in that the pelvis and vertebrae are where they're supposed to be, and without an extra bone.
The left side is different! The bone spurs made it difficult for the radiologist to get the needle in place, plus one level is transtional, part of an extra bone.
So now all I have left is for the surgeon to give the go ahead for radiofrequency rhizotomies on the right side.
Having the rhizotimies done on the left side has given me my life back. The simplest chore was so painful I couldn't finish it.
The weather here today has been a mixture of everything, except heat.
I called Lipton to find out how old the pkg. of Broccoli Mashed Potatoes & Cheddar Cheese is, and it expired 3 years ago so I won't be eating that tonight with my fish! Maybe boiled potatoes and some vegetable on the side.
My bedroom looks like a tornado whirled through it, that's what happens when I have an appt. in the morning. Clothes tossed on the bed after I change my mind, anti-perspirant on the bed, various grooming things.....still a teenager at times.
It's not important, no one sees it but me, and that's ok.
I'm looking forward to seeing the pictures that are on the roll of film I just finished up. I don't remember what I took pictures of other than the Mallard hens that are fast becoming pets now, and the birds at the feeder. Guess I got a couple of the evening sky the other night.
I have many things I"m going to be involved this fall. After having many appts. and things to go to this week, I've learned quickly I won't be able to go all gung ho right away. I need time to build up my body now that I'm not in pain constantly.
One thing at a time :)
fleaface
August 25, 2006
Last night we had storms again! Only this time they were deadly, killing a 90 year old man in his yard.
There was over 200 head of cattle killed, numerous homes blown apart by the tornadoes, and many towns had varying degrees of damage.
On the news cast this morning I saw a silo crushing the top of an outbuilding, cars upside down, and people's belongings scattered over a large county.
Right now the Sheriff is asking volunteers to just call the courthouse for directions on when to arrive to help. So many Minnesotans want to pitch right in and it's chaos down in the southern region of my state.
All we got was lots of rain, some thunder and lightening. Although two nights ago the wind was blowing the rain in a vertical sheet across the street! Trees were bent in the wind, some snapped.
Last month was probably the hottest on record for July or close to it. Now we've received more that the normal rainfall and August isn't finished with us..
I won an auction on Ebay on the 9th of this month, it was supposed to have been shipped on the 14th and I'm still waiting.....I meet the mailllady every morning so it isn't in someone else's hands, that's for sure! I've had more and more bad experiences with Ebay lately and getting fed up quickly. Losing my business won't hurt them, that's for sure. I'd like for lots of people though to know just how bad it can be.
I did get the new drapes hung in my room, and the spread on the bed, had to take that huge white wool rug and fold it into a smaller size as it's too big, I can't open and close the door to my bedroom if I unfold it all the way. I have more to do in there if I want it to look good. Having that tv cart, ala 1970's phony woodgrain, at the foot of my bed doesn't look good, yet haven't any other ideas on how to work it.
For the record, I don't wear a tinfoil hat, or...according to my son I don't wear an aluminum foil hat! However I did just take the "aluminum foil" off of my bedroom window. I had put tinted film on the window for privacy, I could still see out, however the heat coming is unbearable. Now it's cooling down so the foil came off! It DID look weird, if the drapes were pulled open!
You'd be surprised how much heat that keeps out. And it makes the room dark as a cave, which I understand Elvis used to do in hospitals and hotel rooms so he could sleep during the day.
My landlord has been on vacation and I got to admit it's quiet now not having him pulling up in his diesel truck 5 days a week and cutting the grass every 5 or 6 days!
He's one of the reasons I want to move. Not his truck or cutting grass so regularly, it's what I've been told about him. The Sherif's dispatcher used to live in this apt I'm in and she said that one night while she was at work that he used his key and walked into her apt. and surprised her daughter who was home alone.
I was shocked one day while on a trip to the hospital to find out that my Medivan driver, a woman, used to live here and had the same experience! She said that the loandlord used his key and walked into her apt. and startled her boyfriend who had come over for the evening.
What would you do? By law, or regulations of HRA, I can't change the locks. I'm considering installing a hidden camera. In fact I've spent some considerable time LOOKING to see if he has a secret camera hidden in here to watch us! No I'm paranoid, just reasonably concerned as to why he'd be going into womens' apts. when they're gone!!
Lord I detest renting! wish I'd kept my home 10 years ago!! Oh well, hindsight is 20/20......
Tomorrow my friend is supposed to come over for lunch, we'll see what happens. I've got chicken breasts, her favorite, and burgers for the grill, potato salad, baked beans, pasta salad with tuna, celery, ect. and still haven't figured out dessert. I think i've eaten too much of the ice cream for there to be any left for a sundae....ah well.
Sunday I just want to rest. And give thanks for all my multitude of blessings I seem to forget about during the week.
Have a good weekend!
fleaface
There was over 200 head of cattle killed, numerous homes blown apart by the tornadoes, and many towns had varying degrees of damage.
On the news cast this morning I saw a silo crushing the top of an outbuilding, cars upside down, and people's belongings scattered over a large county.
Right now the Sheriff is asking volunteers to just call the courthouse for directions on when to arrive to help. So many Minnesotans want to pitch right in and it's chaos down in the southern region of my state.
All we got was lots of rain, some thunder and lightening. Although two nights ago the wind was blowing the rain in a vertical sheet across the street! Trees were bent in the wind, some snapped.
Last month was probably the hottest on record for July or close to it. Now we've received more that the normal rainfall and August isn't finished with us..
I won an auction on Ebay on the 9th of this month, it was supposed to have been shipped on the 14th and I'm still waiting.....I meet the mailllady every morning so it isn't in someone else's hands, that's for sure! I've had more and more bad experiences with Ebay lately and getting fed up quickly. Losing my business won't hurt them, that's for sure. I'd like for lots of people though to know just how bad it can be.
I did get the new drapes hung in my room, and the spread on the bed, had to take that huge white wool rug and fold it into a smaller size as it's too big, I can't open and close the door to my bedroom if I unfold it all the way. I have more to do in there if I want it to look good. Having that tv cart, ala 1970's phony woodgrain, at the foot of my bed doesn't look good, yet haven't any other ideas on how to work it.
For the record, I don't wear a tinfoil hat, or...according to my son I don't wear an aluminum foil hat! However I did just take the "aluminum foil" off of my bedroom window. I had put tinted film on the window for privacy, I could still see out, however the heat coming is unbearable. Now it's cooling down so the foil came off! It DID look weird, if the drapes were pulled open!
You'd be surprised how much heat that keeps out. And it makes the room dark as a cave, which I understand Elvis used to do in hospitals and hotel rooms so he could sleep during the day.
My landlord has been on vacation and I got to admit it's quiet now not having him pulling up in his diesel truck 5 days a week and cutting the grass every 5 or 6 days!
He's one of the reasons I want to move. Not his truck or cutting grass so regularly, it's what I've been told about him. The Sherif's dispatcher used to live in this apt I'm in and she said that one night while she was at work that he used his key and walked into her apt. and surprised her daughter who was home alone.
I was shocked one day while on a trip to the hospital to find out that my Medivan driver, a woman, used to live here and had the same experience! She said that the loandlord used his key and walked into her apt. and startled her boyfriend who had come over for the evening.
What would you do? By law, or regulations of HRA, I can't change the locks. I'm considering installing a hidden camera. In fact I've spent some considerable time LOOKING to see if he has a secret camera hidden in here to watch us! No I'm paranoid, just reasonably concerned as to why he'd be going into womens' apts. when they're gone!!
Lord I detest renting! wish I'd kept my home 10 years ago!! Oh well, hindsight is 20/20......
Tomorrow my friend is supposed to come over for lunch, we'll see what happens. I've got chicken breasts, her favorite, and burgers for the grill, potato salad, baked beans, pasta salad with tuna, celery, ect. and still haven't figured out dessert. I think i've eaten too much of the ice cream for there to be any left for a sundae....ah well.
Sunday I just want to rest. And give thanks for all my multitude of blessings I seem to forget about during the week.
Have a good weekend!
fleaface
August 23, 2006
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes! a silly movie, it is really. I feel like I have killer tomatoes on board! I am bombarded with tomatoes from the 2 tomato plants the neighbor man put in for me and the roomie.
These are the sweetest tomatoes I"ve ever eaten in my whole entire life, and hey that's a lotta years :)
They're getting put into my scrambled eggs, sandwiches, hotdish tonight, tacos last night, and I could use a few suggestions! Onetime it seems like we put some under the broiler, they were sliced and I think brushed with melted butter and garlic and topped with seasoned bread crumbs.....pretty sure that was how we did it.
It's a warm day here, humid for sure, and overcast. We had storms early this morning, at about 2:30 til 4, no it was 5 o clock! So I've had no sleep last night or this a.m. Guess I"ll sleep good tonight.
Boy those storms! The wind bent the trees in half, the rain was driven so hard it was like a sheet of rain blowing across the road and hail was the size of marbles! I had to run out into that chaos and rescue my palm plant and also the geranium. I left the impatience out there as it was sheltered, along with pointsetta plant.
Tomorrow is another boring "go see the doctor day" yuck. At least I get to go into the drop in center that's in the same bldg. and maybe play a game of Sequence, my favorite, or just peruse a book. They have movies there, however I'm not wanting for those!
Friday I should go get my vitamin B-12 injection then I think I"m done until next month. Am having the neurotomy procedure done ( ont the 8th of Sept.) on the left side of the spine, right after they insert needles into the right side, inject dye, take pictures, then they'll add novacaine and then steroids. The good part about this two fold. One: no more pain for a long long time. Two: they'll do an IV first and mildly sedate me with versade ( sp?) and also a narcotic pain reliever!! Ya!
Last time they did the left side and there wasn't anything for pain and it hurt like a bear to have the doctor trying to get that needle into the nerve root going through bone spurs.
Now :) I can tackle my photograhpy project and not have to quit because of pain, I'll be able to do the housework without pain, and even have an evening after a full day and be able to enjoy the night :) God Bless the doctors!
President Bush was here yesterday, and I couldn't bring myself to watch the local coverage of it. I think it took a lot to cope with 9/11 and think he did the best he could. Now I think he's totally wrong with his choices regarding Iraq and more.
Guess it's time to go do some cleaning up around here....shucks...rather have a V-8!
fleaface
These are the sweetest tomatoes I"ve ever eaten in my whole entire life, and hey that's a lotta years :)
They're getting put into my scrambled eggs, sandwiches, hotdish tonight, tacos last night, and I could use a few suggestions! Onetime it seems like we put some under the broiler, they were sliced and I think brushed with melted butter and garlic and topped with seasoned bread crumbs.....pretty sure that was how we did it.
It's a warm day here, humid for sure, and overcast. We had storms early this morning, at about 2:30 til 4, no it was 5 o clock! So I've had no sleep last night or this a.m. Guess I"ll sleep good tonight.
Boy those storms! The wind bent the trees in half, the rain was driven so hard it was like a sheet of rain blowing across the road and hail was the size of marbles! I had to run out into that chaos and rescue my palm plant and also the geranium. I left the impatience out there as it was sheltered, along with pointsetta plant.
Tomorrow is another boring "go see the doctor day" yuck. At least I get to go into the drop in center that's in the same bldg. and maybe play a game of Sequence, my favorite, or just peruse a book. They have movies there, however I'm not wanting for those!
Friday I should go get my vitamin B-12 injection then I think I"m done until next month. Am having the neurotomy procedure done ( ont the 8th of Sept.) on the left side of the spine, right after they insert needles into the right side, inject dye, take pictures, then they'll add novacaine and then steroids. The good part about this two fold. One: no more pain for a long long time. Two: they'll do an IV first and mildly sedate me with versade ( sp?) and also a narcotic pain reliever!! Ya!
Last time they did the left side and there wasn't anything for pain and it hurt like a bear to have the doctor trying to get that needle into the nerve root going through bone spurs.
Now :) I can tackle my photograhpy project and not have to quit because of pain, I'll be able to do the housework without pain, and even have an evening after a full day and be able to enjoy the night :) God Bless the doctors!
President Bush was here yesterday, and I couldn't bring myself to watch the local coverage of it. I think it took a lot to cope with 9/11 and think he did the best he could. Now I think he's totally wrong with his choices regarding Iraq and more.
Guess it's time to go do some cleaning up around here....shucks...rather have a V-8!
fleaface
August 17, 2006
it was another grey day here, cool and humid. Fine by me. Rather the way I like it.
It's so unusal to NOT have spine pain...just odd. I like that too.
I haven't overdone it since the doc put in steroids and novacaine. Have slept like a baby :) what a wonderful thing, to sleep peacefully. Finally after months and months.
My kid sister called me tonight. She liked everything I mailed her :) So glad! She got socks, bandanas, talcum in rose scent, keychains for her collection, a dromedary camel for her collection of those, a gag gift ( it was a "grow a new sister" toy. Put it in water and it grows. The card it came on said "she'll never borrow your clothes, hog the phone, read your diary, steal your boyfriend, rat on you" and other assorted sister stuff.
There was other things and I can't even remember them. It's hard to know what to send her as she's homeless, living in the shell of a camper with her boyfriend and their dogs. Mostly in the past I've mailed her money and a phone card.
It seems to be quieting down around here. Been a noisy day in the neighborhood. A lot of people taking advantage of the cooler air.
Tomorrow I've got an early morning appt. and then I'm going to have the driver drop me off downtown. I need some time alone to putz about the shops and enjoy solitude on the town's streets....
I might stop in at the bakery and get a doughnut, a glazed one, or a bismark. Cross the street and get my haircut, and then call my son and we'll have lunch at the grocery store as they're having brats for .38 cents each, same for pop and chips.
I got some movies at Block Buster yesterday, watched one of them today, still have two to watch. Think tonight would be a good idea for one as there's not much on tv.
Saturday the ladies want me to join them at the luncheon for this month. For some reason I"m just losing interest in this activity. One of the ladies wants to have it at her house everytime so that she can get to the nursing home right away if her husband gets worse. She's a devoted wife, to the point where she doesn't even leave to do her grocery shopping now, she has it delivered in case the home calls. She lives in a senior home right next to the nursing home. She insists on having the menu the same everytime, and wants us to do the same thing everytime, watch a movie.
We used to get out and go for walks, play our musical instruments, go to the park, now it's the same old thing. We're sitting there waiting with her as the hours go by...
I know that's what friends do, it's just been a long 3 years since his stroke..how sad for him and for his wife of 60 years. Maybe the routine helps her cope with the uncertainty of how much longer he'll be able to hang in there.
Maybe I can start visiting her during the week and skip this monthly luncheon....that would still help her and also get me away from this group.
Tonight is strange. I feel like I'm caught in a time warp, suspended between the past and the future somehow...I'm not the same person I was back in 96, that first Christmas I attended a dinner party with our group. BAck then it was different, there was professionals that ran the program, there was activities, outings, different environments, and my spine was recovering from major surgery. ..where has the decade gone???..............................
Do you think you're poor?? by U.S. standards I'm considered to be living below the poverty guidelines. Yet I feel as rich as the most noble of all kings and queens. I have a roof, food in the house, electricity, natural gas, hot and cold running water, a bed, dishes, I have a home. So many don't have that most basic of things. A home where one can go to seek shelter from the outside world....
The Canada geese are gathering now, have been for the last week or 10 days. That's how I know the end of summer is approaching, like a parent waving a child in from playtime...
fleaface
It's so unusal to NOT have spine pain...just odd. I like that too.
I haven't overdone it since the doc put in steroids and novacaine. Have slept like a baby :) what a wonderful thing, to sleep peacefully. Finally after months and months.
My kid sister called me tonight. She liked everything I mailed her :) So glad! She got socks, bandanas, talcum in rose scent, keychains for her collection, a dromedary camel for her collection of those, a gag gift ( it was a "grow a new sister" toy. Put it in water and it grows. The card it came on said "she'll never borrow your clothes, hog the phone, read your diary, steal your boyfriend, rat on you" and other assorted sister stuff.
There was other things and I can't even remember them. It's hard to know what to send her as she's homeless, living in the shell of a camper with her boyfriend and their dogs. Mostly in the past I've mailed her money and a phone card.
It seems to be quieting down around here. Been a noisy day in the neighborhood. A lot of people taking advantage of the cooler air.
Tomorrow I've got an early morning appt. and then I'm going to have the driver drop me off downtown. I need some time alone to putz about the shops and enjoy solitude on the town's streets....
I might stop in at the bakery and get a doughnut, a glazed one, or a bismark. Cross the street and get my haircut, and then call my son and we'll have lunch at the grocery store as they're having brats for .38 cents each, same for pop and chips.
I got some movies at Block Buster yesterday, watched one of them today, still have two to watch. Think tonight would be a good idea for one as there's not much on tv.
Saturday the ladies want me to join them at the luncheon for this month. For some reason I"m just losing interest in this activity. One of the ladies wants to have it at her house everytime so that she can get to the nursing home right away if her husband gets worse. She's a devoted wife, to the point where she doesn't even leave to do her grocery shopping now, she has it delivered in case the home calls. She lives in a senior home right next to the nursing home. She insists on having the menu the same everytime, and wants us to do the same thing everytime, watch a movie.
We used to get out and go for walks, play our musical instruments, go to the park, now it's the same old thing. We're sitting there waiting with her as the hours go by...
I know that's what friends do, it's just been a long 3 years since his stroke..how sad for him and for his wife of 60 years. Maybe the routine helps her cope with the uncertainty of how much longer he'll be able to hang in there.
Maybe I can start visiting her during the week and skip this monthly luncheon....that would still help her and also get me away from this group.
Tonight is strange. I feel like I'm caught in a time warp, suspended between the past and the future somehow...I'm not the same person I was back in 96, that first Christmas I attended a dinner party with our group. BAck then it was different, there was professionals that ran the program, there was activities, outings, different environments, and my spine was recovering from major surgery. ..where has the decade gone???..............................
Do you think you're poor?? by U.S. standards I'm considered to be living below the poverty guidelines. Yet I feel as rich as the most noble of all kings and queens. I have a roof, food in the house, electricity, natural gas, hot and cold running water, a bed, dishes, I have a home. So many don't have that most basic of things. A home where one can go to seek shelter from the outside world....
The Canada geese are gathering now, have been for the last week or 10 days. That's how I know the end of summer is approaching, like a parent waving a child in from playtime...
fleaface
August 13, 2006
Rather a rainy, sticky, gray day here. Is it peaceful yet in Israel? I sure hope so. Thinking of all the deaths there is overwhelming.
The oddest thing happened to me yesterday....back on June 12th of this year I had a feeling that something was wrong, that something was amiss and couldn't figure out why. It happened again in July, on the 12th...strange, what was I forgetting?? Then yesterday I had this nagging feeling again, like I've forgotten something....like I was supposed to do something or see something..
Last night, after a very busy day of re-arranging furniture, yes I"m one of "those kind of women" I decided to watch one of my favourite movies, "Hans Christian Anderson". I searched and searched, to no avail. So I grabbed on of my "taped off of cable movies" and popped that into the VCR.
I clicked on and there he was, in all his glory! Black hair, brown eyes, and arms wide open as if waiting to hug someone in the audience. It was Leo Buscalia! I had taped a couple of his shows off of cable. I LOVE his voice, so full of inflection, soft one minute, high in excitement the next, joyful almost always. My hero!!
I watched all of one show and part of the second, trying to remember different quotes so I could use them today to convey to you how I "am" in the world, how I feel about people, life, joy, love, and death. He's inspired me since the 80's and being told about his shows is one of the few things I can thank my ex for.
My ex told me about his shows and said I might enjoy them, and when I became instantly enamored of the gentleman, my ex made both of our children sit and listen to Leo. OH they hated that! especially my daughter who was just becoming or coming into that age where parents don't know anything!
One one occasion Leo talked about this man, seems his wife had wanted a red satin dress to wear, and the guy wouldn't buy it or approve it or some darn thing. Well the wife died suddenly and the man was grief stricken, he buried her in a red satin dress. His cries to Leo though inspired Leo to write and talk about how important it is to care about each other, while we're still here. BEFORE it's too late.
Well my ex knew how much I loved the color pink, how much I love satin, and how I love ballet. He knew the story of the pink satin toe shoes from my childhood and how my dad threw threm into the furnace. For Christmas that year my ex gave me a nightgown and matching robe that were pink satin, and the name of the outfit itself was called "pink ballet". To write this breaks my heart, with tears flowing I tell you why I"m sad.
I wanted to write Leo and tell him thank you, for he helped our lives, our joy, our marriage, our outlooks on life. I didn't do it. I didn't write to him.
AND, last night after the shows, I went and online and saw that Leo had died of a heart attack on June 12th, 1998....
I didn't write him that thank you..now it's too late. This time the grief is valid and inconsolable.
fleaface
The oddest thing happened to me yesterday....back on June 12th of this year I had a feeling that something was wrong, that something was amiss and couldn't figure out why. It happened again in July, on the 12th...strange, what was I forgetting?? Then yesterday I had this nagging feeling again, like I've forgotten something....like I was supposed to do something or see something..
Last night, after a very busy day of re-arranging furniture, yes I"m one of "those kind of women" I decided to watch one of my favourite movies, "Hans Christian Anderson". I searched and searched, to no avail. So I grabbed on of my "taped off of cable movies" and popped that into the VCR.
I clicked on and there he was, in all his glory! Black hair, brown eyes, and arms wide open as if waiting to hug someone in the audience. It was Leo Buscalia! I had taped a couple of his shows off of cable. I LOVE his voice, so full of inflection, soft one minute, high in excitement the next, joyful almost always. My hero!!
I watched all of one show and part of the second, trying to remember different quotes so I could use them today to convey to you how I "am" in the world, how I feel about people, life, joy, love, and death. He's inspired me since the 80's and being told about his shows is one of the few things I can thank my ex for.
My ex told me about his shows and said I might enjoy them, and when I became instantly enamored of the gentleman, my ex made both of our children sit and listen to Leo. OH they hated that! especially my daughter who was just becoming or coming into that age where parents don't know anything!
One one occasion Leo talked about this man, seems his wife had wanted a red satin dress to wear, and the guy wouldn't buy it or approve it or some darn thing. Well the wife died suddenly and the man was grief stricken, he buried her in a red satin dress. His cries to Leo though inspired Leo to write and talk about how important it is to care about each other, while we're still here. BEFORE it's too late.
Well my ex knew how much I loved the color pink, how much I love satin, and how I love ballet. He knew the story of the pink satin toe shoes from my childhood and how my dad threw threm into the furnace. For Christmas that year my ex gave me a nightgown and matching robe that were pink satin, and the name of the outfit itself was called "pink ballet". To write this breaks my heart, with tears flowing I tell you why I"m sad.
I wanted to write Leo and tell him thank you, for he helped our lives, our joy, our marriage, our outlooks on life. I didn't do it. I didn't write to him.
AND, last night after the shows, I went and online and saw that Leo had died of a heart attack on June 12th, 1998....
I didn't write him that thank you..now it's too late. This time the grief is valid and inconsolable.
fleaface
August 07, 2006
I'm doing my level best to remain in control of my emotions. HA! like that's gonna work! I HAVE been razzing the heck out of a certain somebody and then either ignoring this person or acting all innocent. I don't usually go in for these kind of antics, however was irate over how she treated a young blogger over there.
It's been busy today, however not too bad as the air is drier so housework is easier too. I'm constantly finding more things that need to be either put away, thrown away, donated, or start using now! What an experience. I've only lived here two years and it's like we've been her for decades!
I have to admit I started collecting little knicknacs the last few years, mostly birds. Not the real ones that I feed! Just little cardinals, bluebirds, chickens, baby chicks, and one gray cement type bird, very large, very much like a mourning dove. Love that one. The chickens are all about 3 inches big, almost all roosters. I told my sister to take the 3 she wanted and I think she got all the hens. Maybe there was only one of them anyway.
I also went and got a squirrel! about 5 inches high, holding an acorn of course. That's it on top of my cupboard I use for storage. Boy, I'm going to have to throw out my magazine collection. Just as well, only collects dust and takes up room...
I've already given away my amber depression glass, to a dear friend of my son's. She's been so good to me. So it was her I wanted to have them.
Oh, did I mention I collect these small circus animals? Ya, got a mama and baby elephant, a Bengal tiger, and a black bear with her cub. I also have a fawn, cause I lovem. And a Palomino colt like the one my ex sold and wasn't supposed to. It was supposed to be my birthday present.
I'll have to get a picture of these creatures as they sit on my puter! Then a picture of the birds on the cupboard. That'll be different.
Well I've got supper in the microwave, some chicken breast that I grillled last week. Had to thaw and then heat it. Got fresh home grown tomatoes to go with it, and I just added a baked potato, got real butter and sour cream to go with it. Ohhh it was yummy!
That's all for today folks!
fleaface
It's been busy today, however not too bad as the air is drier so housework is easier too. I'm constantly finding more things that need to be either put away, thrown away, donated, or start using now! What an experience. I've only lived here two years and it's like we've been her for decades!
I have to admit I started collecting little knicknacs the last few years, mostly birds. Not the real ones that I feed! Just little cardinals, bluebirds, chickens, baby chicks, and one gray cement type bird, very large, very much like a mourning dove. Love that one. The chickens are all about 3 inches big, almost all roosters. I told my sister to take the 3 she wanted and I think she got all the hens. Maybe there was only one of them anyway.
I also went and got a squirrel! about 5 inches high, holding an acorn of course. That's it on top of my cupboard I use for storage. Boy, I'm going to have to throw out my magazine collection. Just as well, only collects dust and takes up room...
I've already given away my amber depression glass, to a dear friend of my son's. She's been so good to me. So it was her I wanted to have them.
Oh, did I mention I collect these small circus animals? Ya, got a mama and baby elephant, a Bengal tiger, and a black bear with her cub. I also have a fawn, cause I lovem. And a Palomino colt like the one my ex sold and wasn't supposed to. It was supposed to be my birthday present.
I'll have to get a picture of these creatures as they sit on my puter! Then a picture of the birds on the cupboard. That'll be different.
Well I've got supper in the microwave, some chicken breast that I grillled last week. Had to thaw and then heat it. Got fresh home grown tomatoes to go with it, and I just added a baked potato, got real butter and sour cream to go with it. Ohhh it was yummy!
That's all for today folks!
fleaface
August 06, 2006
The day went pretty good, considering everything.
I only had the tv on long enough to hear the temp. this morning and then I started by blogging after I had a good breakfast.
I spent the afternoon doing what shoulda got done a long time ago, putting the apt. into shipshape. There's going to be an inspection this month, anyday at all now. The place needed a thorough going over. I'm exhausted. Then I repotted three plants, including my palm plant which is my favorite. The geranium and lemon grass are pretty, as is the impatience, however love the stately beauty of palms.
Tonight I got the grill out and put charcoal on it for cooking supper. Decided to use Hickory smoked chips and wow! Just a lowly hamburger was fantastic! Also cooked a pork steak, and baked some apples on it! holy tamales! hmmmmgood!
Too tired to do much more tonight, almost 10 bells here and am beat to the bones..LOL, boy the neighbors sure start coming out and looking as soon as that charcoal gets going! I've never seen so many neighbors appear so soon! Maybe I need to start inviting some of em?? well maybe the dispatcher for the sheriff's office, and then maybe the couple down the hall that have helped me....not the neighbor drunk though that can only leave the door open on the coldest days, and open on the hottest days when the air is on!
Tomorrow I have errands to run, and then I better check my calendar as I don't know what's planned for this week yet.
I'm finally gonna have the Ryzotomies done on my back, the first set on the 14th of this month then the right side of my spine in Sept. I know I have an appt. with the knee surgeon, my first year checkup since the total knee replacement.
I also have an appt. with a doctor, right after I have my blood work done
Thank goodness that's all as I am also going fishing with that seniors group again!
I gots to catch me a Northern! I can't imagine catching a Muskey! wow! those fish are huge!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace....or something like that. My kingdom for a horse. Then again if wishes were horses, this beggar would ride. Jiggety jggety to market to buy a doggie in the window..
I did talk with the son, so that's one less headache to worry about. When I look around, I ponder the wisdom of my decision and all the work involved, and is it necessary? Is it the best choice? In some ways I know in my head and heart it's the best thing. Yet....some times I wonder....One is the loneliest number..
The time had come said the walrus to the ...shoes, and hats and sealing wax...
a favorite movie of mine~ K=Pax with Kevin Spacey.
fleaface
I only had the tv on long enough to hear the temp. this morning and then I started by blogging after I had a good breakfast.
I spent the afternoon doing what shoulda got done a long time ago, putting the apt. into shipshape. There's going to be an inspection this month, anyday at all now. The place needed a thorough going over. I'm exhausted. Then I repotted three plants, including my palm plant which is my favorite. The geranium and lemon grass are pretty, as is the impatience, however love the stately beauty of palms.
Tonight I got the grill out and put charcoal on it for cooking supper. Decided to use Hickory smoked chips and wow! Just a lowly hamburger was fantastic! Also cooked a pork steak, and baked some apples on it! holy tamales! hmmmmgood!
Too tired to do much more tonight, almost 10 bells here and am beat to the bones..LOL, boy the neighbors sure start coming out and looking as soon as that charcoal gets going! I've never seen so many neighbors appear so soon! Maybe I need to start inviting some of em?? well maybe the dispatcher for the sheriff's office, and then maybe the couple down the hall that have helped me....not the neighbor drunk though that can only leave the door open on the coldest days, and open on the hottest days when the air is on!
Tomorrow I have errands to run, and then I better check my calendar as I don't know what's planned for this week yet.
I'm finally gonna have the Ryzotomies done on my back, the first set on the 14th of this month then the right side of my spine in Sept. I know I have an appt. with the knee surgeon, my first year checkup since the total knee replacement.
I also have an appt. with a doctor, right after I have my blood work done
Thank goodness that's all as I am also going fishing with that seniors group again!
I gots to catch me a Northern! I can't imagine catching a Muskey! wow! those fish are huge!
Tomorrow, tomorrow, creeps in this petty pace....or something like that. My kingdom for a horse. Then again if wishes were horses, this beggar would ride. Jiggety jggety to market to buy a doggie in the window..
I did talk with the son, so that's one less headache to worry about. When I look around, I ponder the wisdom of my decision and all the work involved, and is it necessary? Is it the best choice? In some ways I know in my head and heart it's the best thing. Yet....some times I wonder....One is the loneliest number..
The time had come said the walrus to the ...shoes, and hats and sealing wax...
a favorite movie of mine~ K=Pax with Kevin Spacey.
fleaface
fleafaceIt's a gray, cool, humid Sunday morning here. If the sun comes out it'll be a scorcher.
The birds are singing, the rotten crows are making their loud, raucous calls, and for once the traffic is little.
I've been really homesick, on edge too as I have to tell my kid I'm moving out. My worker has done the paperwork and the whole process is underway. Looking for a place is a matter of deciding where to go.
I can't follow my heart. That would put me hundreds of miles away from my son. He really wouldn't survive that.
I walk around feeling like an invisible monster is biting me. This isn't good.
I held a puppy a few days ago. It was as sweet as could be, nothing like puppy smell to make one feel warm and happy. The only thing missing was Peppy. It wasn't him. Maybe an adult dog again is the way to go with this pet thing. I'm unsure and probably won't make a choice until I'm settled.
I wish our soldiers could just come home. Let the people in Iraq figure it out. We've done enough. Lost enough soldiers.
I don't understand what's happening in Israel between them and Lebannon. It isn't good.
I don't want to spend another winter in this apt. Perhaps not even in this town.
I'm disappointed with people over at the other place I blog. Guess I'll get over it, or else I'll be miserable a long time.
I could pull my hair out when it comes to my two sisters. What good would that do? Maybe I shouldn't give a damn what they do or don't do... one acts like she's got her nose in the air, and the other is homeless, making a living by prospecting for gold and gems, and getting food stamps and medical assistance to help her. What the hell kind of life is that?
Back in 2002, after a year of being online, I finally found a family website. I had typed my grandmother's name into a search engine and her name popped up. I read the story with glee and was delighted as I read further and found the website for the Flint family. I discovered that one of mom's brothers had had 6!! kids! I didn't know that Floyd Flint had that many kids with his wife, Lil. As I read the list of names, I came upon his 2nd oldest child's name, Joyce Flint. Try putting that into a search engine. I didn't have to, for all the information was there.
I almost fell of my chair. I shook so hard I couldn't hardly walk to go to my son's room to tell him the news.
When my older sister and I got together she was horrified that I'd told my son. Well hell's bells. He was 25 at the time. Not like he was 10 or 12 years old! She hasn't told her kids yet. They're all adopted and that's the only reason I think that she believes is best not to "burden them" with it. It took her until 2 years later to finally dawn on her just what all the implications are. It took 2 years to give her that "punch in the gut" feeling. Her words, not mine.
Why? why our family? we have enough stuff going on. Did this have to happen in our family too??? Unfair. Not right. So many kind, generous, intelligent, educated, professionals in our family and this happens? Those of us that aren't professionals, or educated beyond high school, are still kind, generous, happy people.
So the sun has come out, and for now there's a breeze to soften the sun's rays. In an hour or two I'll need to shut the place up again. Drats! Autumn is being anticipated this year!!
The birds are singing, the rotten crows are making their loud, raucous calls, and for once the traffic is little.
I've been really homesick, on edge too as I have to tell my kid I'm moving out. My worker has done the paperwork and the whole process is underway. Looking for a place is a matter of deciding where to go.
I can't follow my heart. That would put me hundreds of miles away from my son. He really wouldn't survive that.
I walk around feeling like an invisible monster is biting me. This isn't good.
I held a puppy a few days ago. It was as sweet as could be, nothing like puppy smell to make one feel warm and happy. The only thing missing was Peppy. It wasn't him. Maybe an adult dog again is the way to go with this pet thing. I'm unsure and probably won't make a choice until I'm settled.
I wish our soldiers could just come home. Let the people in Iraq figure it out. We've done enough. Lost enough soldiers.
I don't understand what's happening in Israel between them and Lebannon. It isn't good.
I don't want to spend another winter in this apt. Perhaps not even in this town.
I'm disappointed with people over at the other place I blog. Guess I'll get over it, or else I'll be miserable a long time.
I could pull my hair out when it comes to my two sisters. What good would that do? Maybe I shouldn't give a damn what they do or don't do... one acts like she's got her nose in the air, and the other is homeless, making a living by prospecting for gold and gems, and getting food stamps and medical assistance to help her. What the hell kind of life is that?
Back in 2002, after a year of being online, I finally found a family website. I had typed my grandmother's name into a search engine and her name popped up. I read the story with glee and was delighted as I read further and found the website for the Flint family. I discovered that one of mom's brothers had had 6!! kids! I didn't know that Floyd Flint had that many kids with his wife, Lil. As I read the list of names, I came upon his 2nd oldest child's name, Joyce Flint. Try putting that into a search engine. I didn't have to, for all the information was there.
I almost fell of my chair. I shook so hard I couldn't hardly walk to go to my son's room to tell him the news.
When my older sister and I got together she was horrified that I'd told my son. Well hell's bells. He was 25 at the time. Not like he was 10 or 12 years old! She hasn't told her kids yet. They're all adopted and that's the only reason I think that she believes is best not to "burden them" with it. It took her until 2 years later to finally dawn on her just what all the implications are. It took 2 years to give her that "punch in the gut" feeling. Her words, not mine.
Why? why our family? we have enough stuff going on. Did this have to happen in our family too??? Unfair. Not right. So many kind, generous, intelligent, educated, professionals in our family and this happens? Those of us that aren't professionals, or educated beyond high school, are still kind, generous, happy people.
So the sun has come out, and for now there's a breeze to soften the sun's rays. In an hour or two I'll need to shut the place up again. Drats! Autumn is being anticipated this year!!
May 14, 2006
The day has been another "sort of odd" day. I slept in til 9:30 and then got up and had some coffee to get my brain going and then my body followed it out to the kitchen for toast.
I washed two blankets last night, after he left, so I took them down this morning and oh they smelled so sweet! I then decided to spend sometime online as it was quiet in here.
After he got up, we went to Burger King for lunch, he wanted to treat me to lunch and asked where I wanted to go. I told him usually I do choose when asked, however today had no preference so he chose.
LOL, I had a Texas Double Whopper! took me about half an hour to eat it!! Won't choose that sandwich again :)
We decided to come home and read the Sunday paper and take it easy as 1. there was too much traffic and people out there to try to navigate around, and 2. This coming week will be hectic and a bit stressful.
I helped him with changing the linens on his bed as it goes quickly that way, and then I washed a blanket of his and my white wool rug. Love that rug, it's so soft and comfortable.
Also did one load with his heavy quilted flannel shirt and some slacks and then I headed for the kitchen.
Put a pot roast in the oven with carrots and potatoes and husked the corn I picked out a few days ago. It's some of the sweetest corn we've ever had.
The dishes had to get done, and also the radishes needed to be prepped so I had quite a bit of time in the kitchen..
I have to admit I love coming into my home now and smelling the fresh fragarance of clean clothing!
Tomorrow afternoon will be at the U of M for a fitting for the lower partial and then will have to try to keep the "anxiety demons" at bay.
Last night as I slept I dreamed the dentist took a 3 foot hose and put it in my mouth, I thought it was for rinsing my mouth or sucking out the water, however it looked like blood and tasted like Hawiian Punch! Turns out it was a mouth wash that was full of antibiotics and he sent me home. Then when I came back the next day, the dentist was almost 2 hours late so he got all huffy when I asked him if he'd had a busy day. When my son tried to give me a hug good by, the dentist yelled at him and told him to keep away so I don't get any infection or germs on me. Then the dentist decided he didn't have time to do the surgery and that's when I woke up.
The dream doesn't sound bad, it just was very scary in the dream, like I was in danger.
Heck, I sat there awake when they pulled 3 teeth, so surely going to sleep to have 9 pulled won't be so bad...will it???
Those sweet little baby girls are doing wonderful after their seperation surgery. Now THERE'S something to worry and pray about!
Yesterday the sun appeared for about 15 minutes! it's trying now to make an appearance and yep, it's a gonna shine :)
there be sunshine onboard! We sure need it after 3 1/2 days of rain!
My other website I blog at is acting all wonky again. Can't count on it to be there. What's new?
I think tonight I"m going to break with tradition and take a long bubble bath instead of a shower. I sure need to relax. If I had wine in the house you can bet I"d have a good sized goblet of it in my hand!
Well it's about time to go and put my feet up and catch my breath, so to speak. Tonight is the finale of my favorite show, Survivor, and I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a long 4 months until the next season. I REALLY wish they'd have a season with JUST middle-aged people. That would end all this garbage with the 20 year olds voting off the older ones. That gets, no it IS old...
Have a great Monday all and be good to each other.
fleaface
I washed two blankets last night, after he left, so I took them down this morning and oh they smelled so sweet! I then decided to spend sometime online as it was quiet in here.
After he got up, we went to Burger King for lunch, he wanted to treat me to lunch and asked where I wanted to go. I told him usually I do choose when asked, however today had no preference so he chose.
LOL, I had a Texas Double Whopper! took me about half an hour to eat it!! Won't choose that sandwich again :)
We decided to come home and read the Sunday paper and take it easy as 1. there was too much traffic and people out there to try to navigate around, and 2. This coming week will be hectic and a bit stressful.
I helped him with changing the linens on his bed as it goes quickly that way, and then I washed a blanket of his and my white wool rug. Love that rug, it's so soft and comfortable.
Also did one load with his heavy quilted flannel shirt and some slacks and then I headed for the kitchen.
Put a pot roast in the oven with carrots and potatoes and husked the corn I picked out a few days ago. It's some of the sweetest corn we've ever had.
The dishes had to get done, and also the radishes needed to be prepped so I had quite a bit of time in the kitchen..
I have to admit I love coming into my home now and smelling the fresh fragarance of clean clothing!
Tomorrow afternoon will be at the U of M for a fitting for the lower partial and then will have to try to keep the "anxiety demons" at bay.
Last night as I slept I dreamed the dentist took a 3 foot hose and put it in my mouth, I thought it was for rinsing my mouth or sucking out the water, however it looked like blood and tasted like Hawiian Punch! Turns out it was a mouth wash that was full of antibiotics and he sent me home. Then when I came back the next day, the dentist was almost 2 hours late so he got all huffy when I asked him if he'd had a busy day. When my son tried to give me a hug good by, the dentist yelled at him and told him to keep away so I don't get any infection or germs on me. Then the dentist decided he didn't have time to do the surgery and that's when I woke up.
The dream doesn't sound bad, it just was very scary in the dream, like I was in danger.
Heck, I sat there awake when they pulled 3 teeth, so surely going to sleep to have 9 pulled won't be so bad...will it???
Those sweet little baby girls are doing wonderful after their seperation surgery. Now THERE'S something to worry and pray about!
Yesterday the sun appeared for about 15 minutes! it's trying now to make an appearance and yep, it's a gonna shine :)
there be sunshine onboard! We sure need it after 3 1/2 days of rain!
My other website I blog at is acting all wonky again. Can't count on it to be there. What's new?
I think tonight I"m going to break with tradition and take a long bubble bath instead of a shower. I sure need to relax. If I had wine in the house you can bet I"d have a good sized goblet of it in my hand!
Well it's about time to go and put my feet up and catch my breath, so to speak. Tonight is the finale of my favorite show, Survivor, and I'm looking forward to that. It'll be a long 4 months until the next season. I REALLY wish they'd have a season with JUST middle-aged people. That would end all this garbage with the 20 year olds voting off the older ones. That gets, no it IS old...
Have a great Monday all and be good to each other.
fleaface
May 10, 2006
Damn this blasted depression....I go along just fine for awhile, talking to people, living my quiet little life and then BANG!
Memories come flooding back, sometimes triggered by an innocent remark or innocent look and the tears are right at the surface, ready to flood my face, leaving no trace of make up and no doubt as to the state of my mind.
Usually winter is the hardest to cope with, dark grey days of cold air and ice everywhere, punctuated with snow dropping like so many blankets, smothering the earth.
Spring is wonderful, with the birds singing, grass coming up green, trees leafed out and the smell of lilacs wafting down the neighborhood streets...
kids are playing outside, happy to be out of their homes for periods of time longer than just getting off the bus and running pellmell for a warm house.
The family across the street is putting in their yearly flower display, and it's better than any Christmas display I've ever seen! The elderly gentleman next door to me got out this device that churns up the dirt and he worked steadily all morning making the earth ready forhis crop of tomatoes and green beans. Him and his wife told me I can use some of their yard for tomato plants and whatever else I want to plant.
The House Finches have settled comfortably into their nest on my air conditioner and now sit on the shepard's hook and the male sings while the whole time he's looking straight into our living room. I try to copy a few notes by whistling, and he'll sing a few more. So I add a few more notes and then he bursts into outrageous song!
I told one of my lady friends that these birds have trained me very well, when they want to be fed, they start screaming and screeching, one ever flew into my patio door, thinking it was just sky, and had quite a tumble. The poor baby got up, walked a few steps, hopped a few, then took off flying ok. So anyway when they want seed they let me know!
The two teachers across the hall are moving out and the landlord said we can take their garage as it's right outside our apt. Right now we have to walk all the way down the parking lot on the far end, and it's ok 3 seasons out of 4.
So what's wrong you say? a little bit of insight into my own behavior has left me rather saddened, disappointed in my self, not liking aspects of who I am, what I was, and how I am....
time is short, I need to cut this short. Maybe early morning will be better for this task...
fleaface
Memories come flooding back, sometimes triggered by an innocent remark or innocent look and the tears are right at the surface, ready to flood my face, leaving no trace of make up and no doubt as to the state of my mind.
Usually winter is the hardest to cope with, dark grey days of cold air and ice everywhere, punctuated with snow dropping like so many blankets, smothering the earth.
Spring is wonderful, with the birds singing, grass coming up green, trees leafed out and the smell of lilacs wafting down the neighborhood streets...
kids are playing outside, happy to be out of their homes for periods of time longer than just getting off the bus and running pellmell for a warm house.
The family across the street is putting in their yearly flower display, and it's better than any Christmas display I've ever seen! The elderly gentleman next door to me got out this device that churns up the dirt and he worked steadily all morning making the earth ready forhis crop of tomatoes and green beans. Him and his wife told me I can use some of their yard for tomato plants and whatever else I want to plant.
The House Finches have settled comfortably into their nest on my air conditioner and now sit on the shepard's hook and the male sings while the whole time he's looking straight into our living room. I try to copy a few notes by whistling, and he'll sing a few more. So I add a few more notes and then he bursts into outrageous song!
I told one of my lady friends that these birds have trained me very well, when they want to be fed, they start screaming and screeching, one ever flew into my patio door, thinking it was just sky, and had quite a tumble. The poor baby got up, walked a few steps, hopped a few, then took off flying ok. So anyway when they want seed they let me know!
The two teachers across the hall are moving out and the landlord said we can take their garage as it's right outside our apt. Right now we have to walk all the way down the parking lot on the far end, and it's ok 3 seasons out of 4.
So what's wrong you say? a little bit of insight into my own behavior has left me rather saddened, disappointed in my self, not liking aspects of who I am, what I was, and how I am....
time is short, I need to cut this short. Maybe early morning will be better for this task...
fleaface
May 07, 2006
| Your Personality Is |
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours. |
The Three Question Personality Test
fleaface
| Your Personality Is |
You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals. You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings. You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships. In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily. At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career. With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone. As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style. On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours. |
The'>http://www.blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/">The Three Question Personality Test
fleaface
May 06, 2006
Ahhhhhhhh, sunshine on our faces today! Almost a week of rain and finally it's true springtime. The apple blossoms and cherry blossoms are in full bloom, especially the cherry blossoms are luxurious in their dark pink shades and the grass is such a deep green.
I've done wash every single day since I got the washing machine and even the bedding and blankets are done.
A couple of days ago we went to the feed mill here in town, it's rather a pricey one, ( so we don't get too much there.) and I got a shepard's hook, bird feeder, and some seed to go with the finch's "feed sock."
there's a sparrow of some kind sitting on it right now, chirping between bites of seed. The grackles have tried to sit on the feeder however they're too big for it and they get it rocking back and forth! and then they tumble down, wings just a flapping!
Next spring I'd love to build or get a wooden birdfeeder that the cardinals and bluejays could sit on. The house finches have a nest on my airconditioner and chase away any birds that come looking to steal their nest or eggs. Those house finches are mighty scrappy!
This coming week I"m going to a neighboring town to renew my permanent fishing license, then head off to a ladie's luncheon. I'm bringing hotdogs, potato salad, and he's bringing chips and my chili I cooked two nights ago. I guess I better throw some chopped onion and cheese into the cooler also. The others will bring cake, pop, buns, and whatever they want.
I hope to get some fishing done this summer. There's a volunteer group that takes disabled adults, and seniors too, on fishing trips with volunteers on a pontoon. They provide the gear and tackle, pontoon, and guides. I just have to get there! How awesome is that??!
The week of the 15th I'll be going to the dentist at the U of M Monday through Thursday! Monday will be another day of working on that lower partial to get it just right, then Tuesday the 16th is the oral surgery, all my upper teeth get pulled and an interimmediate denture goes in place over the sutures. They said it's just like a bandaid, YA...right....ok. So, then it's all downhill until??? hopefully NO MORE surgeries!!!
The plant I got at the grocery store is growing like it thinks it's a weed!! It's a Cyclamen, it did have heady dark rose red blooms, now it's just shooting straight up! Probably needs some fertilizer. My huge geranium is the same way, real leggy looking, too long on the vines, and the leaves are small. The Palm is making a comeback, finally! That dang Pointsetta looks great, needs repotting like most of my plants, wonder if I can get it to bloom for Christmas this year?
Well I've had quite a rest here now, time to get back to housework, the dishes are already done, garbage is out, my bed made, the last load of wash is done, just need to re-arrange all the" stuff" that came out of the utility room to make rooom for the washer! Most of it will go into the garage, and some into the coat closet.
I'll put my dinette set out on the patio, love to eat outside in good weather.
Have a great weekend :) oxoxox
fleaface
I've done wash every single day since I got the washing machine and even the bedding and blankets are done.
A couple of days ago we went to the feed mill here in town, it's rather a pricey one, ( so we don't get too much there.) and I got a shepard's hook, bird feeder, and some seed to go with the finch's "feed sock."
there's a sparrow of some kind sitting on it right now, chirping between bites of seed. The grackles have tried to sit on the feeder however they're too big for it and they get it rocking back and forth! and then they tumble down, wings just a flapping!
Next spring I'd love to build or get a wooden birdfeeder that the cardinals and bluejays could sit on. The house finches have a nest on my airconditioner and chase away any birds that come looking to steal their nest or eggs. Those house finches are mighty scrappy!
This coming week I"m going to a neighboring town to renew my permanent fishing license, then head off to a ladie's luncheon. I'm bringing hotdogs, potato salad, and he's bringing chips and my chili I cooked two nights ago. I guess I better throw some chopped onion and cheese into the cooler also. The others will bring cake, pop, buns, and whatever they want.
I hope to get some fishing done this summer. There's a volunteer group that takes disabled adults, and seniors too, on fishing trips with volunteers on a pontoon. They provide the gear and tackle, pontoon, and guides. I just have to get there! How awesome is that??!
The week of the 15th I'll be going to the dentist at the U of M Monday through Thursday! Monday will be another day of working on that lower partial to get it just right, then Tuesday the 16th is the oral surgery, all my upper teeth get pulled and an interimmediate denture goes in place over the sutures. They said it's just like a bandaid, YA...right....ok. So, then it's all downhill until??? hopefully NO MORE surgeries!!!
The plant I got at the grocery store is growing like it thinks it's a weed!! It's a Cyclamen, it did have heady dark rose red blooms, now it's just shooting straight up! Probably needs some fertilizer. My huge geranium is the same way, real leggy looking, too long on the vines, and the leaves are small. The Palm is making a comeback, finally! That dang Pointsetta looks great, needs repotting like most of my plants, wonder if I can get it to bloom for Christmas this year?
Well I've had quite a rest here now, time to get back to housework, the dishes are already done, garbage is out, my bed made, the last load of wash is done, just need to re-arrange all the" stuff" that came out of the utility room to make rooom for the washer! Most of it will go into the garage, and some into the coat closet.
I'll put my dinette set out on the patio, love to eat outside in good weather.
Have a great weekend :) oxoxox
fleaface
April 27, 2006
Wemt grocery shopping yesterday, thought that lasagana would be good tonight, also got the fixin's for sloopy joes, and chowmein.
Bought a photo album, they come now with acid free folders, no pvc's in them. And they're finally reasonably priced.
Found a lamp I want, it's all little tiny pearl like beads, and gets installed into an existing fixture. It's a cascading like, like a waterfalls, and creates "rainbows" of light when the sun hits it and also when it's turned on. Love this.
It was my only extravagant expenditure. A 20 dollar bill.
Today I'm re-couping from walking around that super Wal-Mart for 2 hours. Granted it's slow walking, still........alot at one time.
Have to change the bed linens, only have a few dishes to wash, the trash is already out, and then maybe do some dusting.
For sure I'll bake a pie today, maybe two of them :) one will be easy and the other, a peach, will be a lot of work. The peaches are fresh and need a crust from scratch. The cherry pie will have canned filling and a crust made from a no-bake mix.
I've been reading the blogs over at the old place and man, what a mess there. Am glad I pulled my articles and left. I can say I made the top 10 list and that's all I wanted to do towards the end.
The dingdong witch is back and I want no part of that scene!
Oh, saw a towel at Wal-Mart yesterday and it's so pretty, it's a delicious shade of rose! Not pink like, more like a cherry red, or pinky-red. Sweet. Almost a strawberry color.
My kid just made a batch of microwave popcorn and it smells like a movie theater in here. Speaking of which, my friend C. came over to see if I wanted to go to a movie and dinner yesterday. We ended up in a cafe about 5 miles from here and she had the jumbo shrimp plate and I had the burger plate. Thought it would be just a small burger and chips for $3.50, here it was a huge cheeseburger and fries and the pop for a dollar had re-fills! cheaper and better than McDonald's!
We then headed to the theater and saw the movie ""The Sentinel". Wow! quite the thriller! Mikael Douglas was good as the Secret Service guy, Kim Bassinger was forgettable as the president's wife. The guy that stole the show, imho, was the bad guy that shot up the place. He had a face that would scare the mafia bosses! We had the whole theater to ourselves, so unusal. Usually the theater is full of kids, teens and adults. Middle of the week it's empty. Gotta remember that! and cheap too. Just the darn treats are high priced.
the ice cream cones i got have a chocolate coated rim and are yummy :)
fleaface
Bought a photo album, they come now with acid free folders, no pvc's in them. And they're finally reasonably priced.
Found a lamp I want, it's all little tiny pearl like beads, and gets installed into an existing fixture. It's a cascading like, like a waterfalls, and creates "rainbows" of light when the sun hits it and also when it's turned on. Love this.
It was my only extravagant expenditure. A 20 dollar bill.
Today I'm re-couping from walking around that super Wal-Mart for 2 hours. Granted it's slow walking, still........alot at one time.
Have to change the bed linens, only have a few dishes to wash, the trash is already out, and then maybe do some dusting.
For sure I'll bake a pie today, maybe two of them :) one will be easy and the other, a peach, will be a lot of work. The peaches are fresh and need a crust from scratch. The cherry pie will have canned filling and a crust made from a no-bake mix.
I've been reading the blogs over at the old place and man, what a mess there. Am glad I pulled my articles and left. I can say I made the top 10 list and that's all I wanted to do towards the end.
The dingdong witch is back and I want no part of that scene!
Oh, saw a towel at Wal-Mart yesterday and it's so pretty, it's a delicious shade of rose! Not pink like, more like a cherry red, or pinky-red. Sweet. Almost a strawberry color.
My kid just made a batch of microwave popcorn and it smells like a movie theater in here. Speaking of which, my friend C. came over to see if I wanted to go to a movie and dinner yesterday. We ended up in a cafe about 5 miles from here and she had the jumbo shrimp plate and I had the burger plate. Thought it would be just a small burger and chips for $3.50, here it was a huge cheeseburger and fries and the pop for a dollar had re-fills! cheaper and better than McDonald's!
We then headed to the theater and saw the movie ""The Sentinel". Wow! quite the thriller! Mikael Douglas was good as the Secret Service guy, Kim Bassinger was forgettable as the president's wife. The guy that stole the show, imho, was the bad guy that shot up the place. He had a face that would scare the mafia bosses! We had the whole theater to ourselves, so unusal. Usually the theater is full of kids, teens and adults. Middle of the week it's empty. Gotta remember that! and cheap too. Just the darn treats are high priced.
the ice cream cones i got have a chocolate coated rim and are yummy :)
fleaface
April 25, 2006
| Your Birthdate: April 6 |
 Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June |
What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
fleaface
| Your Birthdate: April 6 |
Your strength: Your intuition Your weakness: You put yourself last Your power color: Rose Your power symbol: Cloud Your power month: June |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatdoesyourbirthdatemeanquiz/">What Does Your Birth Date Mean?
fleaface
This is a test about love, and actually is how I am about love.
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.You tend to give more than take in relationships.You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
fleaface
How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howareyouinlovequiz/">How Are You In Love? | ||
fleaface
| How You Are In Love |
 You tend to give more than take in relationships. You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered. You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change. You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard. |
How'>http://www.blogthings.com/howareyouinlovequiz/">How Are You In Love?
fleaface
It's a gorgeous day here, sunshine, green grass, warming up nice.
Last night as the temperatures had dropped from 72 degrees to less than 42 degrees, in only 24 hours, I made homemade soup and man is it good! It was almost everything i needed to improve the evening.
I started with a chicken base to which I added celery tops and a carrot. Then I used just a touch of salt and fresh ground pepper, and decided since I love carrots that I'd go ballistic on them! added about 6 peeled and chopped carrots. Also used a meat bone for more flavor.
When it was almost done, after pulling the meat off the bone, I tossed in leftover California Blend vegetables, leftover chicken and rice soup, leftover mixed vegetables (frozen), and barley. I think this is one soup that would really sell in a cafe!
I've had it for supper last night and brunch today!
A dear friend sent me an email last night that brightened the night with it's message of love and caring. He'll probably never know how much it was needed. His timing is incredible.
Yesterday afternoon, on our way out to the garage, a new neighbor came over and introduced himself and he noticed me looking at is storage cubboard and now, LOL, it's in my living room! I told him yesterday to let me know what his wife wants for it, and he did when we got home from our trip. So today he brings it over, after asking first, wouldn't let me do the work myself. This is perfect for storing things that take up the precious little space in my tiny bedroom.
Today, well I have housework as usual, and want to spend time outside since we don't have enough of spring and summer to suit this warm weather person!
I am thinking about blogging about all the legal challenges I've undertaken and won, guess it would be a way of preserving what I've accomplished over the years. "They" say you can't beat city hall, believe me, you can. You just need to know how to start going about it! Scary? Naw. However......maybe I "should" have been....
I'm also thinking about blogging about really heavy duty stuff and if my relatives read this, they'd have a heart attack! What's the worst that can happen?
Oh where to start???
fleaface
Last night as the temperatures had dropped from 72 degrees to less than 42 degrees, in only 24 hours, I made homemade soup and man is it good! It was almost everything i needed to improve the evening.
I started with a chicken base to which I added celery tops and a carrot. Then I used just a touch of salt and fresh ground pepper, and decided since I love carrots that I'd go ballistic on them! added about 6 peeled and chopped carrots. Also used a meat bone for more flavor.
When it was almost done, after pulling the meat off the bone, I tossed in leftover California Blend vegetables, leftover chicken and rice soup, leftover mixed vegetables (frozen), and barley. I think this is one soup that would really sell in a cafe!
I've had it for supper last night and brunch today!
A dear friend sent me an email last night that brightened the night with it's message of love and caring. He'll probably never know how much it was needed. His timing is incredible.
Yesterday afternoon, on our way out to the garage, a new neighbor came over and introduced himself and he noticed me looking at is storage cubboard and now, LOL, it's in my living room! I told him yesterday to let me know what his wife wants for it, and he did when we got home from our trip. So today he brings it over, after asking first, wouldn't let me do the work myself. This is perfect for storing things that take up the precious little space in my tiny bedroom.
Today, well I have housework as usual, and want to spend time outside since we don't have enough of spring and summer to suit this warm weather person!
I am thinking about blogging about all the legal challenges I've undertaken and won, guess it would be a way of preserving what I've accomplished over the years. "They" say you can't beat city hall, believe me, you can. You just need to know how to start going about it! Scary? Naw. However......maybe I "should" have been....
I'm also thinking about blogging about really heavy duty stuff and if my relatives read this, they'd have a heart attack! What's the worst that can happen?
Oh where to start???
fleaface
April 24, 2006
| You Are Balanced - Realist - Powerful |
| You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a realist when it comes to luck.You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random.You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...But you do your best to try to make your own luck. When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.You don't care much about what others think.But they better care what you think! |
The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test
fleaface
| You Are Balanced - Realist - Powerful |
| You feel your life is controlled both externally and internally.You have a good sense of what you can control and what you should let go.Depending on the situation, you sometimes try to exert more control.Other times, you accept things for what they are and go with the flow. You are a realist when it comes to luck.You don't attribute everything to luck, but you do know some things are random.You don't beat yourself up when bad things happen to you...But you do your best to try to make your own luck. When it comes to who's in charge, it's you.Life is a kingdom, and you're the grand ruler.You don't care much about what others think.But they better care what you think! |
The'>http://www.blogthings.com/thethreedimensionluckandpowertest/">The Three Dimension Luck and Power Test
fleaface
| Your Christmas Song Is |
 Oh the weather outside is frightfulBut the fire is so delightfulAnd since we've no place to goLet It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Forget a new iPod or laptop...What you want Christmas morning is a winter wonderland. |
What Christmas Carol Are You?
fleaface
| Your Christmas Song Is |
Oh the weather outside is frightfulBut the fire is so delightfulAnd since we've no place to goLet It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Forget a new iPod or laptop...What you want Christmas morning is a winter wonderland. |
What'>http://www.blogthings.com/whatchristmascarolareyouquiz/">What Christmas Carol Are You?
fleaface
April 13, 2006
Good Morning
The grass is greening up, and already the trees are budding out. It's early morning here and it's still dark outside, looks like the moon is full. The wispy clouds are slowly drifting across the starry sky, giving it almost a Halloween appearance!
Last night I went to bed early as I was so tired out. I think I know what that's about and I can take care of that easily enough.
In about 2 weeks I'll have my next eye exam and also the dentist will start work on a lower partial for me. I'm very excited and happy about getting these teeth! The eye exam will determine if "I'm good to go" , hehehee just like that commercial, or if the left eye now needs to have that lens replaced.
Our home town has lost a couple of young men just this spring. One died due to horse play, him and his buddies were playfully pushing each other around and one guy hit him in the chest and he collapsed and died. Another young man died in a car accident, a middle-aged man was driving the wrong way on the freeway and hit him head-on. It's so wrong to lose our youth, they're our future. We lose a few young people every spring in car accidents, and then a few are lost in the winter to snowmobile tragedies.
I've been thinking about this avian flu thing and wondering how long it will take for it to mutate to humans. I don't know if I can pack in enough supplies between now and then, if it happens, so that I could stay home for 1-6 months. It it does mutate and there's a panedemic, I'd be so vunerable what with being auto-immune because of the RA. I know it wouldn't bother me to be house-bound, just would have to be ready for it.
It's now 6:01 a.m. those are my favorite numbers, that was my number at Morley Bus Company, which was who I worked for out of Forest Lake. That company was sold to National Bus Company, I believe they're out of Canada, and then sold to LaidLaw. John Morley was the origianal owner, along with his brother. When I had my MI in 91, us workers were in the process of starting a union.
My friend Ramona and I would go this tavern 2x a month, on payday, and have a drink then supper, then dance. Pretty soon another driver joined us, soon we gathering to complain about conditions at the company and we decided to form a union.
Eventually word leaked back to the supervisor, who was the boss's top helper, and he was appalled at how many were "out for a good time" on Friday nights......
After I got sick, the guys did get a union in place, and the owner sold the company. I'm glad now that my friend Ramona and I started the ball rolling as it provided the needed kick to get worker's rights established.
fleaface
The grass is greening up, and already the trees are budding out. It's early morning here and it's still dark outside, looks like the moon is full. The wispy clouds are slowly drifting across the starry sky, giving it almost a Halloween appearance!
Last night I went to bed early as I was so tired out. I think I know what that's about and I can take care of that easily enough.
In about 2 weeks I'll have my next eye exam and also the dentist will start work on a lower partial for me. I'm very excited and happy about getting these teeth! The eye exam will determine if "I'm good to go" , hehehee just like that commercial, or if the left eye now needs to have that lens replaced.
Our home town has lost a couple of young men just this spring. One died due to horse play, him and his buddies were playfully pushing each other around and one guy hit him in the chest and he collapsed and died. Another young man died in a car accident, a middle-aged man was driving the wrong way on the freeway and hit him head-on. It's so wrong to lose our youth, they're our future. We lose a few young people every spring in car accidents, and then a few are lost in the winter to snowmobile tragedies.
I've been thinking about this avian flu thing and wondering how long it will take for it to mutate to humans. I don't know if I can pack in enough supplies between now and then, if it happens, so that I could stay home for 1-6 months. It it does mutate and there's a panedemic, I'd be so vunerable what with being auto-immune because of the RA. I know it wouldn't bother me to be house-bound, just would have to be ready for it.
It's now 6:01 a.m. those are my favorite numbers, that was my number at Morley Bus Company, which was who I worked for out of Forest Lake. That company was sold to National Bus Company, I believe they're out of Canada, and then sold to LaidLaw. John Morley was the origianal owner, along with his brother. When I had my MI in 91, us workers were in the process of starting a union.
My friend Ramona and I would go this tavern 2x a month, on payday, and have a drink then supper, then dance. Pretty soon another driver joined us, soon we gathering to complain about conditions at the company and we decided to form a union.
Eventually word leaked back to the supervisor, who was the boss's top helper, and he was appalled at how many were "out for a good time" on Friday nights......
After I got sick, the guys did get a union in place, and the owner sold the company. I'm glad now that my friend Ramona and I started the ball rolling as it provided the needed kick to get worker's rights established.
fleaface
April 07, 2006
Well here it is, half past 1:00 p.m. and I have this wretched head-ache. I keep getting them daily. I hope that the eye exam later this month doesn't reveal that the cause of the headaches is my eyes. Yet that would leave my back the cause.
Had a nice birthday yesterday, my son gave me a hot rod, made by matchbox I think. It's a yellow 1934 coupe and also he gave me a can of Suisse Mocha coffee. He added a favorite candy bar of mine into the mix so I feel pretty darn special. My older sis called to wish me a happy birthday late yesterday afternoon and we talked for quite a while. She's 7 years older than me, loves to quilt, loves Golden Retrievers ( me too :)) and is as steady as they come.
It'll be good to see green grass coming up soon, feels like winter was just here, what with that snow storm 3 weeks ago! I can't hardly wait to get some flowers growing outside, for sure will have a hanging basket on the patio. I'd love to have a rose bush, just have never tried growing one before.
I'm pretty tired of being online, had my computer 5 years now and the excitement has worn thin.
I might just have spring fever, maybe am just anxious over having my teeth pulled this Tuesday, sure am edgy.
I'm ready now for some major life changes, and I've already had enough major changes in the past year and a half. I'm unsure whether to go through with my plans or just keep my feet planted awhile longer til I've ajusted to the new upper denture and am feeling a little better.
fleaface
Had a nice birthday yesterday, my son gave me a hot rod, made by matchbox I think. It's a yellow 1934 coupe and also he gave me a can of Suisse Mocha coffee. He added a favorite candy bar of mine into the mix so I feel pretty darn special. My older sis called to wish me a happy birthday late yesterday afternoon and we talked for quite a while. She's 7 years older than me, loves to quilt, loves Golden Retrievers ( me too :)) and is as steady as they come.
It'll be good to see green grass coming up soon, feels like winter was just here, what with that snow storm 3 weeks ago! I can't hardly wait to get some flowers growing outside, for sure will have a hanging basket on the patio. I'd love to have a rose bush, just have never tried growing one before.
I'm pretty tired of being online, had my computer 5 years now and the excitement has worn thin.
I might just have spring fever, maybe am just anxious over having my teeth pulled this Tuesday, sure am edgy.
I'm ready now for some major life changes, and I've already had enough major changes in the past year and a half. I'm unsure whether to go through with my plans or just keep my feet planted awhile longer til I've ajusted to the new upper denture and am feeling a little better.
fleaface
March 14, 2006
Well this supper hour my dentist was sweet enough to take time out of his busy schedule to call me and talk at length about the process I'll be going through. He spent a great deal of his time helping me and making sure I understood what I need to do and it's one of the reasons I like the place and him. He'll be moving in June, so I will have to look for another one soon. I hope he does well wherever he goes. He's cute too and that doesn't hurt. I mean I"m too old for him, could be his grandmother probably, I just like cute guys, and plain guys, and all of em, I AM a girl afterall......it's probably cause he has those darn brown eyes!
Things are happening so fast! the stuff with my teeth, getting the utility room ready for the washer, starting the swimming program..I might have to learn to talk all over again, my jaw will be different now. For sure I won't look like a cow chewing it's cud when I eat! Amen!
I got some clothes washed today, copied a lot of papers from the family website for my genealogy project, and am almost finished with the pics my sister sent me. One thing I've found fascinating is the background in the pix, mom didn't just "pose" us girls for pictures, she was also taking pics of the home we lived in as children. It's obvious to me now as I scan photo after photo. There's oodles of pix of just interiors, of furniture, and us with walls behind us that show the family pictures and decorations we had. In one pic there's a wooden head carving of "Man O War", a race horse.
Well it's time for a shower and clean jammies and down time..had a busy day and I see no end in sight. :)
fleaface
Things are happening so fast! the stuff with my teeth, getting the utility room ready for the washer, starting the swimming program..I might have to learn to talk all over again, my jaw will be different now. For sure I won't look like a cow chewing it's cud when I eat! Amen!
I got some clothes washed today, copied a lot of papers from the family website for my genealogy project, and am almost finished with the pics my sister sent me. One thing I've found fascinating is the background in the pix, mom didn't just "pose" us girls for pictures, she was also taking pics of the home we lived in as children. It's obvious to me now as I scan photo after photo. There's oodles of pix of just interiors, of furniture, and us with walls behind us that show the family pictures and decorations we had. In one pic there's a wooden head carving of "Man O War", a race horse.
Well it's time for a shower and clean jammies and down time..had a busy day and I see no end in sight. :)
fleaface
March 12, 2006
Well it's been "interesting" today to say the least. Our group has grown to 10 now. Used to be about 6, sometimes 7 if my child came along. Today there was only 3 or us. For various reasons. Yet the three of us have perhaps the most need to be there for each other.
One is not doing well in different areas, health for starters. The other one has a husband that had a stroke about two years ago now and it looks like he's not going to live much longer. It was quiet with so many absent, a peaceful gathering. We don't wish to leave out anyone out, yet want to have this kind of peace again.
One of them is extremely loud, obnoxious and is only there because she's one of the original group when it was led by a professional. This person is more than loud. Her best friend is following in her footsteps and trys to out talk her and I come home with a headache. As do the other two there today. I can't ask anyone of the three to disallow anyone as this was started only because of red tape keeping my child out back in 2000. So I have to put up with it, or not be there.
As for myself, it's been a wonderful week. Although I feel restless, feel like the hounds are at my heels. Spring is arriving, bit by bit, and I want to move on now. My knee is strong, I can't believe how strong, and except for my spine, I feel much younger physically.
Tomorrow I'll prepare my favourite meal, clean my home, try to watch a little television, and read. And say prayers. Many prayers for many people.
Monday I have a lecture to attend, followed by a cooking session and then home to rest. I have to schedule the Ryizotomies I need done, then can initate the swimming program. I start swimming on Tuesday, twice a week.
Once a month is how often I'll be reading to the children at the library, it's not much yet have to figure out how to change my whole life now. Next month we'll see how it's going with my teeth pulled, whether I can tackle a part-time job too.
So that's all now.
fleaface
One is not doing well in different areas, health for starters. The other one has a husband that had a stroke about two years ago now and it looks like he's not going to live much longer. It was quiet with so many absent, a peaceful gathering. We don't wish to leave out anyone out, yet want to have this kind of peace again.
One of them is extremely loud, obnoxious and is only there because she's one of the original group when it was led by a professional. This person is more than loud. Her best friend is following in her footsteps and trys to out talk her and I come home with a headache. As do the other two there today. I can't ask anyone of the three to disallow anyone as this was started only because of red tape keeping my child out back in 2000. So I have to put up with it, or not be there.
As for myself, it's been a wonderful week. Although I feel restless, feel like the hounds are at my heels. Spring is arriving, bit by bit, and I want to move on now. My knee is strong, I can't believe how strong, and except for my spine, I feel much younger physically.
Tomorrow I'll prepare my favourite meal, clean my home, try to watch a little television, and read. And say prayers. Many prayers for many people.
Monday I have a lecture to attend, followed by a cooking session and then home to rest. I have to schedule the Ryizotomies I need done, then can initate the swimming program. I start swimming on Tuesday, twice a week.
Once a month is how often I'll be reading to the children at the library, it's not much yet have to figure out how to change my whole life now. Next month we'll see how it's going with my teeth pulled, whether I can tackle a part-time job too.
So that's all now.
fleaface
March 06, 2006
Hard to write today~much physical pain. Time for pills.
Will be shopping for washer this week, that will relieve a lot of stress, carrying baskets of
stinky pajamas to laundromat! back and forth, tote that barge, and lift that bale....
Miss my dog and his unconditional love. That will be my next goal. Perhaps in a year's time it will come to pass.
Need a car so I can get out of here.
Need a car for freedom, mobility, I wanna get out of this city....
Will ask the angels that be for help getting a car.
I've prayed for others daily, maybe now I can ask for me, and still have my conscience clear.
Will be shopping for washer this week, that will relieve a lot of stress, carrying baskets of
stinky pajamas to laundromat! back and forth, tote that barge, and lift that bale....
Miss my dog and his unconditional love. That will be my next goal. Perhaps in a year's time it will come to pass.
Need a car so I can get out of here.
Need a car for freedom, mobility, I wanna get out of this city....
Will ask the angels that be for help getting a car.
I've prayed for others daily, maybe now I can ask for me, and still have my conscience clear.
I'm going from a life of non-movement, total inactivity, to a life filled with work, scheduled
water exercise, and volunteering.
This week will find me at a local establishment, turning in an application for volunteer work, and this past week we went to the Crisis Nursery, met one of the workers and donated toys. It's time to step out of the mold we've been in and live again.
It was a different kind of day here, I took a nap, odd for me to. Now I'm awake when I need to be sleeping!
There's been alot in the news about eminent domain, and it just amazes me how those with power can "buy" someone out....I think perhaps I'll check into doing some volunteering so I can be involved in the political field a bit. It's foreign to me, yet I'm fascinated by happenings in our
country and the local government.
I asked for help with getting a washing machine and by gosh will be getting one. I was floored to get a yes by just asking. What does that say about the goodness of people?
I'm looking forward as always to spring and packing up the winter collection of the usual mufflers, coats, knit hats, and gloves and getting out the lightweight cotton shirts and shorts.
I feel like a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, and have such an inner peace and happiness. I hope this contiunes, although I believe it's something I have to maintain by myself.
Such is life
water exercise, and volunteering.
This week will find me at a local establishment, turning in an application for volunteer work, and this past week we went to the Crisis Nursery, met one of the workers and donated toys. It's time to step out of the mold we've been in and live again.
It was a different kind of day here, I took a nap, odd for me to. Now I'm awake when I need to be sleeping!
There's been alot in the news about eminent domain, and it just amazes me how those with power can "buy" someone out....I think perhaps I'll check into doing some volunteering so I can be involved in the political field a bit. It's foreign to me, yet I'm fascinated by happenings in our
country and the local government.
I asked for help with getting a washing machine and by gosh will be getting one. I was floored to get a yes by just asking. What does that say about the goodness of people?
I'm looking forward as always to spring and packing up the winter collection of the usual mufflers, coats, knit hats, and gloves and getting out the lightweight cotton shirts and shorts.
I feel like a butterfly emerging from it's cocoon, and have such an inner peace and happiness. I hope this contiunes, although I believe it's something I have to maintain by myself.
Such is life
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