Trying to just get on Blogger is almost more work than it's worth, yet am ready for a new home.

It's been a difficult day, made a sad discovery online. The last few days have been thinking about an old friend, had mentioned his life story to a lady and today it kept niggling at me, so I googled his name, was re-reading his story and discovered that he'd taken his own life.

He jumped out of his 8th floor apt. building in December of this year. I don't know if what he did 17 years ago was more than he could live with, or if his illness was what pushed him into it, just don't know...
I have so many unaswered questions, it leaves a deep hole in my heart. He wasn't a bad person when we were teenagers. I don't know when he got sick, however that didn't make him who he was or what he did...

So far, I haven't truly ajusted to my new apt. I've made friends, for sure lots of those, and know where things are, how to get around, what's available for services, and can cope, just haven't found that feeling of "being home" that I thought I would have by now.

My new roommate, Chanel the 5th, has adopted me and cries to be in my lap if I'm busy doing something around the house. She has also taken over my bed, my easy chair, and today for the first time jumped up on top of my desk while I was typing. Almost knocked my coffee over, she was beside herself as yesterday I spent the whole day taking care of business and had not a spare moment to hold her. She let me kow that she had to have my attention!

She's supposed to be losing weight and I think she's gained a couple of pounds since moving in. The entire first week she hid on top of the refrigerator, only coming down to use the litter box and eat while I slept. The second week she spent checking out the apt. and making discoveries of her own. The third week she decided I have a comfortable lap made for cats and claimed it as her own.
Her former owner said that Chanel never ever jumps up if you're eating. Wrong! She did, just the other day and I promptly let her know that it was "a bad time" to jump up. OK, all I did was shoo her down...

Goldie the Bulldog, so much to say about her. I didn't know that it's normal for them to snore. Yep, and with all the wrinkles they have it's expected. Also those wrinkles need deep cleaning, every single day. No problem. They also crave affection, which is why I found her to be so special, since I love to give affection and time to dogs. Some of the people here were afraid of her, because her teeth stick out, which is how they're made. She is submissive to humans and if spoken to or called, she lays down and rolls over, and at the same time her whole body is wiggling with happiness. She won over quite a few hearts.
I had Goldie here with me only a short week, one morning while taking her to the elevator she changed from walking on one side to the other and I tripped over the leash, almost falling.
Several times outside when I was trying to clean up after her, she'd get to wiggling with joy and happiness and I"d almost fall down when she'd sit down abruptly and lean into my legs, add to that the fact that she's a Bulldog, her gait is rolling, her chest wide and massive and when she'd walk, I'd have a hard time keeping up.
I tried my dangest to train her in just the week she was here, however I knew that as smart and co-operative as she was, that it would be dangerous to both me and her if I fell. She could have gotten lose and get hit by a car. I do have to admit I think she'd have stayed by my side as she was that kind of dog, however I felt bombarded in more ways than these...

My son came up to see me on my birthday, the day I got her, and though he had planned on staying, when he saw her he decided he wasn't going to stay overnight as planned. He didn't like her, because she had an odor to her. Bulldogs do have that. It's part of their breed makeup. It's got to do with their digestion. Discovered that afterwards......
The manager here gave me a hard time about Goldie, saying how every single dog that's ever been here has peed on the carpet in the halls. She said that some residents were afraid of her, and also that I had "disrespected" her and her wishes by getting a dog that was toooo big to pick up and carry in the elevator, and one that couldn't walk down the stairs.
Between her constantly harranging me for a week, my son refusing to come up as long as I had her, and my trying to not fall down while walking her, my feet swelling from the walks with her, I gave up and asked the former owners to come and take her back. That was our agreement, if for any reason it didn't pan out for me, I was to call them to come and take her back. She is a $1200.00 purebred Bulldog, and they don't come any sweeter.

I find myself crying because I miss her, and the cat just isn't the same.

So that's it in a nutshell.

OH, lest I forget, I signed up on one of those dating thingys. Been 3 days now and not one guy has IM'd me nor left me a message. I'm not ugly, don't have hoof and mouth disease, and can speak intelligently, so what's up with that??

Oh well.

And with the price of gas, do I really want to buy a car if I get a lump sum from SS?? Wouldn't it make more sense to either A: save some, spend some, and give some? or B: Take a trip or C: Buy an expensive dog and be happy...

My radishes are coming up already, and yesterday I planted beets too. Now there's beets, tomatoes, carrots, radishes, and green beans. Hope it turns out great! Maybe before they come up I can learn how to can, now THAT would be an accomplishment!